Not Who You Are, But Who You Know
To be seen, soothed, safe, and secure are the fundamental needs that must be met to develop healthy and strong relationships. Healthy relationships fortify upward mobility. Each of the ladies who work at My Cup of Tea is offered a healthy dose of access to social capital daily.
When we moved into Orange Mound in 2012, I mistakenly believed that my sincerity in investment of my time, talent, and treasure would be endorsed by the matriarchs living in the community and embraced by the women I hoped to serve. I was clearly an outlier from another socioeconomic part of town, but after a short while I just knew my motives in coming to Orange Mound would not be suspect.
Many like-minded women from East Memphis joined me – not to “save” Orange Mound or the women living there but to use our resources, including social capital, to remove some of the obstacles preventing the community from thriving again. We opened the doors of The House in Orange Mound saying, “Come on in”! We were convinced we could unify as sisters and illumine the injustices that have warped our city.
It took a minute or two to convince the ladies who knocked on the door of The House to see that we were offering more than financial assistance. And the well-heeled and well-meaning among us needed to realize that our cash was not the adhesive for authentic friendship or the solution for mutual respect.
Today, we are beyond a decade of serving alongside the ladies. In my rear view mirror, I can see that the significance of economic advancement among those living at or below the poverty line varies from person to person. For many, the status quo is preferred because the fear of change is paralyzing.
Classes in budgeting have been taught regularly, and experts on savings and loans have offered advice, perks, and bank account access. We have boosted enthusiasm about home ownership, and we have challenged landlords to clean up their rentals. We have partnered to bring rent-to-own homes to our city block. A few are prepared to participate, but the majority are more comfortable bypassing the opportunity. Financially, most are still dependent on the government, which limits the wages they can earn, but it is more certain and reliable than the risks often necessary to advance economically. Who can blame them? The women have been disrespected and abused by people and institutions for most, if not all, of their lives. The thought of risking stability, as meager as it might be, for the unknown is a bridge too far for most.
However, I am refusing to be discouraged.
We continue to demonstrate how to stretch a dime at the grocery store, share recipes for the produce we grow on our property, and teach simple techniques in the kitchen since only two of the ladies know how to cook. We take or send anyone in physical or mental distress to physicians and psychologists and offer financial support for the sessions. When requested we guide the ladies through local, state, and federal government mazes depending on the issue. We still reinforce financial literacy, workforce skills, and keep a sharp eye out for entrepreneurial prospects that might appeal to one of the ladies. It’s estimated it took nearly 30 years to build the Great Pyramid of Giza, so we will keep laying the blocks.
But there is more to why I’m encouraged.
In one of my recent laments in prayer I was reminded by the apostle Paul, in Colossians 1:28:
We proclaim Jesus, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present every person fully mature in Christ
This has always been the priority, but sometimes we lose sight of it. Among those who share the mission for My Cup of Tea are 12 mature and faith-filled friends who each mentor one of the ladies. We have provided a comfortable place for each of our employees at My Cup of Tea to flourish. There is no lack for anyone to feel seen, soothed and safe. However, the security each needs and the most valued benefit is to gain the security of a relationship to our Savior – the social capital that matter most. Without the knowledge and possession of His indescribable gift, there is no true security.
The work to encourage greater self-sufficiency will not be in vain, if indeed we lead and disciple each to a saving and secure grasp of how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ. (Ephesians 3:18-19)
Social capital, though temporary, is of value and worth every effort. We will continue to strive in all facets to open opportunity to our beloved friends in Orange Mound. We are convinced, however, that our calling is to help each to become the person she is designed to be, and to find her security in Him.
Our sincere dedication to see them soothe their wounds and provide a safe environment is a shallow endeavor if they are without the free and eternal security He offers. He has asked us to partner with Him in loving them where they choose to be.