Our mission is to walk with women beyond the boundaries of poverty and neglect and assist them in finding their purpose.

In physics, inertia is “the property of matter by which it continues in its existing state of rest or uniform motion in a straight line, unless that state is changed by an external force.”

An example apropos to our setting is that of stirring a cup of your favorite tea to incorporate honey, lemon, or cream. The tea continues to swirl in a circle for a time even after you have stopped stirring because of inertia. The external force of the stirring has compelled the tea to change from stagnant or jiggling (That's a scientific term) in the cup to swirling.

None of us at My Cup of Tea were physics majors, but we know a little something about inertia. The inertia we witness is physical, mental, and emotional – the kind that is prevalent in those stifled by the effects of generational poverty and trauma. Human inertia is not laziness or a salty disposition. In fact, people can desire to change their circumstances but lack the compulsion to execute the necessary steps.

Consider someone afflicted with clinical depression (some of the ladies are). That person may realize that sunshine and fresh air might improve how they feel on a particularly miserable day. They might think a distraction – a new project, upbeat music, or a favorite pastime – might lift their spirits. However, they are incapable of, despite the possibility of feeling better, crawling out of bed. It often takes an external force like words of affirmation from a loved one, someone physically taking the person by the hand and pulling them out of bed, or medicine and therapy to overcome this moment.

For over a decade, we have seen the impact of inertia on the women we serve but in varying degrees. There are those who simply needed a job opportunity and a fair wage (the external force) to improve their lives and become more stable. Others required the fear of a negative consequence to play the role of the external force – obtaining custody of a child, the threat of eviction, or the discovery of a serious health issue, for example. Those fears or consequences compelled those ladies to take hard but necessary steps to change their paths. Then there are those who struggle mightily to lift the boulder of inertia off them though they recognize the benefits that may accrue to them or the suffering likely to vex them.

Adequate housing, as you already know, is a persistent problem for the ladies at My Cup of Tea. As the new rent-to-own homes down the street spring up, we have remained vigilant about guiding and supporting the My Cup of Tea ladies to make applications and be in a financially sound position to qualify. We have flooded them with various versions of financial literacy training including requirements to secure a mortgage. Volunteers with financial skills have worked one-on-one with some of the ladies to navigate credit reports and housing applications. Some have helped prepare budgets, dispute inaccuracies in credit reports, and carefully list the documents required to apply. Yet, some of the women, though seemingly desirous of a better home have not, will not, or cannot take the steps they must take personally to make this dream a reality.

Admittedly, the housing process can be overwhelming for anyone, but we have seen inertia’s impact in relation to car repairs, school applications for children, entrepreneurial opportunities, and more. And, money is not the issue in most cases because we have accessed our emergency fund and relied on the generosity of volunteers to absorb many of these costs.

So, what should we do? Here are two thoughts:

First, we Americans expect things to happen quickly. In the age of instant gratification, we’re expecting the heart or thumbs-up emoji to magically appear in our text threads within seconds, or at the most minutes, of pressing send.

Conversely, the women we serve have been waiting for years for a dignified opportunity, a safe place to work, a fair wage, and simple justice in the daily affairs of their lives. And not just them, but their parents, grandparents, and ancestors, too. While they waited, disappointment, suffering, and injustice have been the “rule” not the “exception.”  Exhaustion, cynicism, and lived experience cannot be changed by us overnight. Like the cup of tea, we can stir it, but eventually, it will come back to rest and remain there until roused by another external force.

Second, inertia is not a condition exclusive to the My Cup of Tea ladies or people dealing with poverty and trauma. Inertia, in a sense, is the human condition. We are inclined toward uniform motion like a train on a straight track traveling through sin, disappointment, grief, and despair. It is the external (and internal) force of Christ that derails us from this destructive course.

For now, we continue to patiently and graciously stir the tea and wait on the One inertia cannot resist.

“A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches.”  Proverbs 20:21

Each of us was given a name at birth, and most likely, that name will stay with us for a lifetime. In naming our five children, our decision in assigning a “handle” for them to use throughout their life, was to connect them to family names.  With the name came the story of the ancestor and encouragement to honor his legacy.

When Moses and Elijah returned to earth on the Mount of Transfiguration, to be with Jesus, they had the same names they had been given on earth. The apostles’ names are written eternally in the foundation of the New City, Jerusalem, in Revelation 21:14.  Thus it is possible that in Heaven we’ll be called by the same name we’re called by now, and we’ll keep that name throughout all ages to come.

Biblical names tell stories and quality values, like John, which means “God’s gracious gift”. Scripture surrounds his name and emboldens John’s character throughout the Gospels. To a young man named John is attached Psalm 103:4,

“He redeems your life from the pit, he surrounds you with grace and compassion and protects us from death. His kindness and love are a crown on our heads.”

Several websites offer the meanings and history of first names in various languages.

For Valentine’s Day, I gave each of the ladies an illustrated acrylic picture frame block with her name calligraphed above her name’s character quality. A Bible verse that amplifies the essence of her name was added below.

The ladies at My Cup of Tea had never been told, nor did they know existed the suggested character quality implied in the literal meaning of their given name.  I encouraged each to embrace the meaning of her name and memorize the scripture attached to her name. The name equivalents were fascinating, and ironically exactly right for each of them. Tears flowed, as each lady had her moment to be honored and applauded in our small ceremony. Each lady blushed and then received the respect and tribute due her name with humility.  It was better than an “awards day” and will last far longer than a free food box from the food pantry.

All 14 of our ladies had appropriate matches. For example:

For the one we call our most spiritually grounded, her name means:  Seeking One

Psalm 27:8 "My heart says of you, 'Seek His face!' Your face, Lord, I will seek."

For the one who keeps us entertained and on task, her name means: Enthusiastic

Psalm 119:16 "I delight in Your decrees; I will not neglect Your word."

For the one who exhibits the values we aspire to strengthen, her name means: Womanly

Proverbs 31:10 "A woman of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies."

For the one who is encouraged to trust her children to the Lord, her name means: Little Lamb

Isaiah 40:11 "He tends His flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young."

I recently wrote in the January MCOT Newsletter a tribute to one of our ladies who is a “momma bear” to two of her own and raising several more. She is a tenacious, determined, and unshakable warrior in a war zone of poverty and injustices.

Her name means: BEAUTIFUL

In her complicated world, Jesus sees her as beautiful and worth dying for, so that she might see Him as beautiful and worth living for.

The verse in Scripture that is selected for “Beauty” is Psalm 29:2. 

"Ascribe to the Lord the glory due to His name; Worship the Lord in holy array.”

“I never knew my name had Biblical strength”, she said smiling.

She also is unaware that in Revelation 2:17 “To the one who is victorious, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it”

This will be her pet name only known between her and The Savior, who is yoked with her now in her mission of mercy to be an overcomer and victorious in leaving the bedlam of the streets and her old neighborhood. She has two daughters whose name equivalents mean ironically “Good” and “Fast Runner”.  Without knowing, she is reminding them to run back to her and stay good.  Her household  family is secure because it also includes the One whose name means:

“Wonderful Counselor”, “Prince of Peace”, “Almighty God”, and “Everlasting Father."

Editor's note: This post originally appeared January 25, 2022. With Valentine's Day near, we thought this message to still be quite relevant and worth sharing again. Thank you for reading.

I recall Valentine’s Day class parties when I was in lower school. We all decorated cardboard shoe boxes with red and pink construction paper hearts and made a slit in the lid for classmate mail.  We were in an all-girl school, so the messaging was perfunctory and silly.

     “I’m hooked on you”, for example, with a fishhook dangling before a small fish.

     “You are such a cutie! “You are a berry good friend”, with a picture of a bowl of fruit. And so, it went. Those were the days of innocence and neighborhood friendships.

Last week we had a round table discussion among our ladies at the House, regarding sex, romance, husbands, boyfriends, and marriage. Many of the women who spoke up wished they had “woke up” to the warnings in their youth by their mothers and grandmothers.  Eros, the love that can draw us into romance without commitment, and sex without promise, is advertised ubiquitously and alleged to be the ultimate love. However, it comes with small print directions and warnings. Frequently what today’s society calls love has brought beautiful children into the world for our community yet left many as single moms parenting and providing for several children alone while living dependent on family, friends, and government assistance.

In the New Testament, there are four Greek words used to describe different types of love – Eros, Storge, Philleo, and Agape.

Eros, or romantic love, is what we discussed last week. And when Eros evaporated, the trusted love of family called Storge helped keep the future hopeful and taught our friends how to make a way in hardship with real friends.  

As many shared at the table, tears flowed. Two of our ladies were faithful to their unfaithful husbands and cared for them in failing health and terminal illness.  They buried them with dignity, though their own was lost.  One has had multiple fathers to her children, and they all are missing in the parenting of them.  Two have husbands without work and young children at home.  One gave birth to a child after being raped at age 12.  Some of the women were sharing for the first time.

We cultivate Storge in Orange Mound. We women are sturdy, and we are strongest when working together in community. We all have invisible Valentine's boxes with lids.  Encouragement comes in multiple forms as we invest our resources compassionately through the small, concealed openings in the box. Allowing others to know our heartaches, opens the box covered in tattered Valentine's hearts and cheap expressions that belie the truth of the struggles of single moms. Faith in Christ changes the tattered to the eternal.

We befriend, support, equip, and promote the ladies in our neighborhood.  We try to absorb the pain from the wounds of the past by listening, sharing the burdens, grieving, and resourcing. Whether financial, medical, housing, educational, or some other unmet need, we intervene when the ladies want us to, and help in the best ways we can. Our moms are revered at The House. The struggles of raising kids in the inner city are myriad and the fears of gun violence in their neighborhoods are palpable. Crime abounds with hair-trigger anger among the frustrations of poverty and the pandemic. We pray for all with unconditional support and grace.

For those who have believed in Jesus, our Savior, husband, and father to our children, we have become sisters in faith and embraced Philleo.  We are a spiritual family. Philleo brings honor and accountability to our friendships and motivates us to serve together and help all who have lost their bearings. Family always has priority, whether in security or need.  Our Prince, The Prince of Peace, opens the finest of loving relationships among individuals in this family that also packages and sells lovely teas.

The evidence of the redemption of our past is in our assurance of the AGAPE love of our Lord.  He is Whom we serve and ultimately long to please.  We return Agape to Him, in part, by loving our neighbors as ourselves, those inside and outside the House at 3028 Carnes.

For single moms, Jesus is their Bridegroom, Husband, and Comforter. For their children, He is their Shield and Defender, Protector and Provider. His Agape is contagious, irresistible, and available to us all.