More Than Just Tea

When shopping for tea is not a priority among our many loyal customers, we give sway to the back-to-school sales, giveaways, and specials.  Though tea sales are consistent but not robust, the ladies need their income, good meals, cool and dry spaces, safety, and fellowship. For the last ten years, we have filled the late summer months with morale boosters, lectures, encouragements, and pep talks.

We invite a gaggle of professionals to join us for lunch and share insights, as we all need to find strength for today and hope for tomorrow. Recently, one of our board members developed a fresh curriculum to replace our outdated “Work for Life” program. We anticipate younger ladies will arrive in September for the new and improved My Cup of Tea employment opportunity. Stephanie White’s original curriculum is the initial course from which each will be trained.

                As they haven’t arrived, Stephanie has led a first look at our new “Preparing for Work” classes for our current employees.  All well know the flow of tea in and tea out at the House; however, none have been familiar with the possibilities of learning more about themselves, others with whom they work, and the imperatives of being dependable at MCOT.

 Our pursuit of growth has previously involved guidance from esteemed scholars, pastors, laymen, theologians, and global missionaries. Yet, it was Stephanie’s hometown voice that truly pierced the corporate shell of indifference that had settled over our team. Through the SAGE framework, her invention -- Self-awareness, Accountability, Growth, and Excellence – she has effectively recalibrated our approach to work ethic, workplace ecosystems, and our culture of prayer and release. Previously, many of our employees were so immersed in personal challenges that they could not offer their full hearts and minds to the mission of My Cup of Tea.

The predictable initial hesitancy regarding new agendas has been completely dissolved by her hands-on workshops, which have sparked a tangible revival of interest, confidence, and cohesion among our staff.

She has given us a gift that all formal education could not.  While we have learned from PHD’s and theologians, missionaries, and pastors, the SAGE framework has given the ladies a new lens to view their work, their prayer life, and their potential. The existing team, weary from personal battles and unsure of the future, has been fortified with a renewed sense of confidence and purpose. The atmosphere at work continues to be transformed.

Her techniques have been colorful and creative. Venn diagrams, colors to represent emotions, direct challenges on self-awareness, personal interviews, and balloon releases of prayer requests contribute to mental and emotional “spa days”.  I am equally matched by all of the ladies in anticipation of each of her teaching days. She has revived us all in time for the beginning of our big shopping season, which begins in September. She has given us the tools to re-engage with our mission. The initial wariness toward change has been replaced with a vibrant excitement.

            She has extended an invitation to vulnerability—not as a demand, but as a brave and generous offering. She has asked each of us to distill ourselves into a single word, stripping away the noise and pretense that so often guard our hearts. In doing so, she has pulled back the bandage gently but firmly, creating a sacred space where we might hear how others truly see us.

            Not every reflection has been tender. Some words have landed like unexpected stones, sharp and uncomfortable. Yet even in that discomfort, something rich has taken root. For in those unfiltered glimpses, we have been handed a mirror—not to shame us, but to grow us. What felt like judgment has become an invitation: to soften, to repent, to mature, and to become more fully who we are meant to be.

            Her courage has not been reckless; it has been rooted in a deep and patient love. She has not asked us to be perfect, only honest. She has not promised ease, only truth. And in that truth, there is grace—the kind that sanctifies not by polishing us overnight, but by walking with us through the long, sacred work of becoming.

            Her most defining moment—the one that will stay with me- was the way she turned the spotlight onto L. Cool, the woman who tends our grounds and keeps our building whole. L. Cool is the only one who quietly carpools the women who have no ride, who makes our deliveries across the city, who watches over our property on the weekends.

            When Stephanie asked us, “Who can do what she does?” no one spoke. Silence. Eyes lowered. Because we all knew the answer.

            Stephanie continued, her voice steady with reverence: “L. Cool’s work ethic is unmatched. Her efforts are the reason we stand before every visitor in beauty: the gardens, the front lawn, the majestic building that greets our community. Our brand begins at the curb, in the pride and dignity of what she tends, long before the first tea box is ever seen.” In that moment, we understood that she wasn't just honoring one woman. She was teaching us to see the sacred in the unseen.

It’s hard to believe that summer is over – at least practically speaking. Today is the first day of school for Memphis Shelby County School students. For some of our subscribers in other parts of the country, an August 3^rd start seems insane, but it has become the norm where many lack summer childcare for their children, and the scourge of dismal literacy and math proficiency scores benefits from the early start.

We have written before about the often chaotic lives of some of the ladies we have served over the years. Of course, finances are a struggle. Transportation to and from work and the grocery store is often a challenge. Gunshots, gang activity, and run-of-the-mill theft are commonplace. There are appliances that don’t work, or that never existed. Electricity is turned off because of unpayable bills created by sieve-like housing allowing the cold air to pass through.

Often the start of school is a blessing for mothers and children. It is a place that, despite all of the children and activities, brings temporary peace and stability to the lives of children. There is an assurance of a meal, often lunch and breakfast. There is structure and order in most cases – a time to learn, to play, to go to the restroom, and to be quiet. Yes, there are stories of out-of-control classrooms, disruptive students, and even teachers who perhaps should consider another profession, but more often than not, the school day is consistent and reliable.

Many years ago, we learned at My Cup of Tea the importance of things like order, safety, and peace. In fact, in the hierarchy of needs, there are times when these attributes of work at The House outrank wages. Many of the ladies have told us that they want to stay because of the environment, not the pay or the work they do. We pay a fair wage but can only offer part-time work without benefits. Given the choice between a full-time opportunity and staying with us, most have chosen us.

If you follow our work, you know we are implementing a pilot program to help new recruits learn employable skills and seek full-time jobs. It is available for our legacy workers, too. Even though the ladies pursuing this path will not spend years with us, this model must also be fashioned with order, safety, and peace. These are the coveted fringe benefits for ladies whose lives are often unpredictable and chaotic.

Debbie, our long-time operations manager, often paraphrases I Corinthians 14:33 by saying, “My God is not a god of chaos. He is a God of order.” One visit to The House demonstrates that she lives by that mantra. Every room is organized and neat. Each room has a specified activity to be performed by the ladies in that room. The materials are present and easily accessible. There is a daily schedule. It is the one place, the one portion of the day, that the ladies know what to expect, and what is expected of them.

The word peace, depending on which translation of Scripture you read, is mentioned 249 (NIV) to 429 (KJV) times. Descriptions of God often include the word peace, as in II Thessalonians 3:16, “Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all.” And, if you believe that we are made in His image (Genesis 1:27), then it is no wonder that we yearn for peace in our lives.

Each of us desires peace in our daily lives at some level. We are rattled by strings of bad news, the chaos of world events, or the health crisis of a loved one, for example. Yet, most of us never worry if there will be enough to eat, if the utilities will be turned off, or if we will be injured or worse by a stray bullet crashing through the window in the middle of the night. For most of the ladies at My Cup of Tea and the majority of children in the Memphis Shelby County School system, these products of chaos are present weekly or even daily.

We cannot solve these issues on a city-wide or even neighborhood-wide basis. We can do our part. We can pray for peace, order, and safety for the children and families whose lives are devoid of these assets. With your continued support, we can provide a few seats at a time for Orange Mound women to experience it in their daily lives.

In Orange Mound, this query is never tabled because family is always one’s responsibility.   Suddenly, everyone is family when a desperate emergency presses in.  To suggest there are professionals who can help alleviate or even navigate through a portion of the storm often goes unacknowledged.  The universal reaction is shock, and the look of disdain and unbelief is searing. “Family comes first and my foremost focus” is said by each but more simply and forcefully.

 Monthly, I interview the ladies to check into the pulse and flow of their personal space.  As we rocked on the front porch on a cool morning in June, I tossed in a bright, lilting question: “What’s on your bucket list?”   I gave an example, confiding my own, and defined what a bucket list might include.  With each, a slow smile gradually formed, eyes closed, and a request to pause was required to reflect.  One said she had never considered such a dream. One said she would like to see a beach and walk in the sand.  “See a mountain range” was first on Deborah’s list. “Ride a train to New Orleans,” considered another, who is expecting her first baby without the support of the baby’s father.”  Fatigue is a fact of life here.  Relentless exhaustion drains dreams and shrinks their spirits. None chose a luxury cruise or skydiving.

My July interviews were impossible to schedule due to so many absences and late call-ins. July is a slower month in sales, and fortunately, business was not crimped, allowing Debbie and the managers to keep the flow. All orders were punctually filled. The House felt achingly empty and strangely cheerless, though.

Last week, I was brought into the circle of trust. I didn’t know what I didn’t know, and there is more as the facts of the dilemmas are still developing.

One of the ladies is homeless after a court order overruled her possession of the family home, giving the deed to her brother, and all the contents of her home were scattered on the curb. One was bitten by her brother’s pit bull and had a massive infection.

           The Shelby County General Sessions Court imposed sanctions for garnishment of another’s wages for a $15,000 debt from 2022. She is expecting a baby soon and has felony charges, which preempt full-time employment job opportunities beyond My Cup of Tea. Another has been parenting her adult twins, each of whom has morally rebelled. One twin has required hospitalization, and the other more punitive disciplines.

            Another has had to commit her mother to a special care facility and is unable to learn her diagnosis and prognosis. Another has had to commit a loved one to an out-of-town long-term facility for rehabilitation. One has the permanent but unofficial care of her deceased daughter’s five children. There are more, including one who has unofficial stewardship and total care of a brother who has special needs, and she has no assistance from other siblings.     There are others.

Each is her brother’s keeper, and a bucket list is an absurd thought unless it provides an escape from the harsh reality of the present. I have erased the elusive lists slipped into buckets and replaced them with lists for rest and quiet from the rough currents in their lives. Perhaps mini-breaks are best when one is sharing and caring for her many brothers, sisters, cousins, and aunts, including absent fathers and neighbors who keep knocking on the double-bolted storm door.

Better are suggestions for a cup, not a bucket, which might include:

·         Space and time to sit alone on a park bench with a book that brings laughter.

·         A day without decision-making.

·         A meal at a restaurant with a linen tablecloth and a waiter.

·         Pretty shoes that fit and don’t rub my blisters.

·         A hand massage.

·         A conversation with someone who listens.

·         A comfort dog for a day.

·         A car that requires no maintenance for a month.

·         A night in a hotel away from the family.

·         A scented candle, popcorn, and a happy-ending movie on the TV.

·         A single comfortable outfit that flatters.

·         Sixty minutes on a church pew where I feel seen.

These precious women are the keepers of many and the emancipators of few. The tyranny of the urgent needs around them exhausts peace, time, and energy.  As soon as possible, they return to us. All have embraced the kind fellowship within our walls at 3028 Carnes and the prayer and support we offer at My Cup of Tea. The combination anchors the ladies in the firm foundation of faith and hope. Abundantly, it is available to keep them grounded through the storms all encounter quite regularly. 

Daily, all look to the clouds and await the return of our Savior, who will heal every disease and dry every tear.

Someday, skydiving shall seem simple, smooth, and supremely silly, no stress, no sweat, and there will be buckets filled with dreams come true.