February is Black History Month. Orange Mound has a compelling chapter in the story of remarkable feats of Black men and women in our country. Original and resolute, the Black Memphians who worked for white Memphians carved out a section in Southeast Memphis in 1890 and built a neighborhood for themselves called Orange Mound.

Melil Powell, a local historian, said:

Orange Mound was built on the John George Deaderick Plantation. Deaderick purchased 5,000 acres of land between 1825 and 1830, and the neighborhood got its name from a local fruit called the mock orange that grew in the shrubs there. The Deaderick Plantation was sold to a white real estate developer, Izey Eugene Meacham, in 1890. Meacham divided the land and created a segregated subdivision for African Americans. Lots were created in narrow grids and sold for less than one hundred dollars each. The neighborhood originally contained 982 shotgun houses. Compared to white neighborhoods, Orange Mound was inferior, but it was still an important symbol of status among Black Memphians during the Jim Crow era. Overall, Orange Mound has faced many hardships, but continues to foster a strong sense of community and identity within a large urban environment. The neighborhood has a long history of resilience, pride, and sense of identity that continues to live on today.  

One hundred thirty-four years ago, along with the pioneers who settled this city within a city, Jesus moved in as well.  Churches, schools, parks, and economic opportunities were spawned and given life here. Though modest in scale, the bold step engendered robust pride, safety, and a strengthening of cultural values. The valiant success to preserve Black community more than a century ago is lamentably now on “life support.” Crime has created a crucible for all who live within our boundaries.

My Cup of Tea’s objective for over a decade is that The House that is our operations hub stabilize and dignify single moms and grandmoms who live in the neighborhood. Though heads of their homes, they are largely devoid of resources to protect them. Fifty years of slack economic resourcing impedes any who desires to vacate the dangerous blocks within our borders and the creep of crime along our sidewalks and streets. The progress we have imagined for their protection is still improbable, but not impossible.

Rather than capitulate, the ladies are bolstering their courage to take back the neighborhood.  Aligning with the fond memories of their courageous forebearers, the women are seizing their moment to stop the evil in our midst. God’s anointed Orange Mound founders’ ‘enterprise is at the grass root where we abide.  Our women are rising to defend our neighborhood and protect our children.  We are connecting with our local police precinct and following the guidelines of Neighborhood Watch.  Good neighborliness unifies, and knowing our neighbors is paramount to protecting our home and the block on which we live.

Nonetheless, knowing neighbors is more challenging here. Rental houses turn over frequently, front doors are intentionally unwelcoming, and sidewalks are hazardous for pedestrians and bikes.  It’s a small beginning but not one without hope.  What God is stirring within us is re-establishing a safe place for children to play, gardens to thrive, and neighbors to fellowship is in view.  The ladies have found the personal firm footing that our many volunteers and programs have offered.  Within that security, a new obligation has been realized, and with the Lord’s guidance and empowerment, they will redeem what is broken on our blocks and bring safety back to the neighborhood.  We are a ministry of equipping women to do the next thing for the Kingdom. We believe we are part of the solution for the safety of our city within the small corner we live and love. We do not shrink back from the call to do as Isaiah has prophesied.

They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined city. Isaiah 61:4

The anxiety is almost palpable. Joyful conversations inevitably pivot in a darker direction. Demands for relief are louder than I can ever remember.

I’m talking about crime, of course.

While crime rates were dramatically declining across the nation, homicides in the City of Memphis hit a new record in 2023, breaking the previous record set in 2021. The new year so far doesn’t seem to be relenting, and rightly, we all want something done about it. We desire that criminals be punished in proportion to the severity of their crimes. We expect there to be justice.

But when people are gripped with fear, our “priorities pendulum” swings hard and fast to the side of self-preservation. We tend to forget, to quote Bryan Stevenson author of Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption that,

Each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done.

At The House, we’re outraged and afraid too. Last year, a woman was gunned down on the sidewalk next door by her partner, and our security cameras captured the whole horrid incident. The daughter of one of the ladies was murdered in a drive-by shooting. And still another employee’s daughter was shot on purpose by a “friend.” Thankfully, she survived.

We plan to channel our anger into efforts to help reduce crime in our little corner of Orange Mound by getting to know the police better, engaging our neighbors, participating in the annual  Night Out, and possibly organizing Neighborhood Watch.

But what we can’t forget is that of the more than 80 women who have crossed the threshold of our tea company, well more than a majority have crossed the law at some point. From illicit drugs to theft to prostitution to gang activity, many of the women we’ve served have spent time in rehab and/or jail. But central to our model is the belief that all of these women are far more than the worst thing they’ve ever done.

Stevenson explains that one who lies, steals, or kills is not just a liar, a thief, or a killer, but a complex and broken human being with gifts and faults and not just the capacity for evil deeds, but the ability to do good too.

For the Christian, this is validated by a higher authority. In Matthew 9:13, Jesus responds to the Pharisees who question why he would dine with tax collectors and sinners. Quoting Hosea 6:6, He says,

Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.

If we fail to demonstrate mercy, which the late pastor and theologian, Dr. Timothy Keller said, “…must be free and unmerited to the wrongdoer,” then the experiment happening at 3028 Carnes fails. We instead replace acceptance with judgement, opportunity with rejection, and reconciliation with bitterness.

The My Cup of Tea ladies are benefactors of mercy too. Forty to fifty women, from completely disparate backgrounds and experiences volunteer at My Cup of Tea every year. Few have any real experience with poverty, violent crime, and surviving in the world as a racial or ethnic minority. In their zeal to serve and help, honest, but nevertheless hurtful, mistakes have been made. But so far, the ladies have heaped mercy upon us.

When we consider crime in our community, few, if any, are saying criminals should be absolved and not punished. But for the violent criminal, who may not have shown any mercy to his victim, you can bet he lived a merciless existence prior to the day he committed his worst offense. Children who are abused or witness frequent abuse are more likely to become abusers themselves. A merciless community where guns are the arbiters of disputes breeds less compassion in those surrounded by violence, not more. And a society that permanently labels its members according to the worst thing they’ve ever done produces anger, fear, and an unrelenting cycle of brutality.

Susan Monk Kidd in The Secret Life of Bees says this about mercy,

The world will give you that once in a while, a brief timeout; the boxing bell rings and you go to your corner, where somebody dabs mercy on your beat-up life.

The continuation of that poignant idea is that the bell inevitably rings again, the boxers rise and bounce to the center of the ring and proceed to beat the heck out of each other for a much longer period than the brief respite in the corner.

Maybe it’s naïve, but what if we could begin to extend the time spent in the corner where mercy is dabbed on our beat-up lives? A little more dabbing, a little extra salve for those we meet in our everyday lives might start to make a small difference in the violence that surrounds us.

Afterall, God showed us mercy in that, while we were sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

The credit card bill from December 2023 has certified that my Christmas gifting this year was excessive. Some of the gifts I gave my family didn’t turn a head and now, sadly, seem hardly worth the wrapping paper and ribbon I used to present them. Buyer’s remorse has clouded over the light in the initial joy I had giving them. Gift giving among my beloved family members begs to be redefined with thoughtfulness on my part. The wind was not behind my sails this year, nor beneath my wings in the annual gathering of my dear ones.

However, the setting in Orange Mound was a refreshing and antithetical experience.  The apparent contrast between giving to family and giving to the poor at Christmas this year is worth noting. I haven’t counted, but I have read there are over 2000 verses about helping the poor in the Bible. As well, there are cautions in Proverbs as to squandering our wealth.

Notwithstanding God’s command to give to the poor, I have often considered why He says to do it countless times.  Beyond the obvious - ‘because they have needs, Silly, and you have resources’ - I have determined the blessing is for me, the gift giver, not just the recipient who is poor. 

The ladies who work with us in Orange Mound more than enthusiastically received Christmas gifts at our Christmas Party two weeks ago.  Much of the rapturous excitement in the room was photographed and videoed and played several hundred times among us over the holiday break with joy and gratitude. Our celebration was uproarious. Specialized, personalized, and memorable gifts from volunteers were given to eleven ladies at the tea company. A favorite couple spent an earlier day with us and shared comforting poetry about the passing of loved ones. One baked a banana nut bread loaf for each. Another made bead bracelets with a personalized charm.   Another gave personalized scripture cards to each with her own name attached to the Lord’s promise.  One of the ladies embroidered tea towels for all her co-workers. Another gave each the devotional, Jesus Calling. Never have we had such bounty and benevolence, tears, and laughter.  It made my Christmas and theirs, and I am still in the afterglow because they are still talking about the gifts and reporting their use of them.

Throughout the year, generous supporters and customers have graced us in favor, monetary donations, and various types of contributions and many have come to see the gratitude we have in receiving them. However, I believe this Christmas was exceptional since the times have been especially challenging in the neighborhood and among the ladies. None of them expected to be “seen, soothed, safe, or secure” borrowing psychologist Curt Thompson’s short list of mental health imperatives in his new book, The Deepest Place.  Much less did they anticipate a raft of presents at our ‘potluck lunch’. Each had drawn a name and brought one gift to that co-worker. That had long been our tradition and more than fun and rewarding in the past.

Who knew that giving personal and thoughtful, though small, gifts to these courageous ladies would make OUR Christmas and theirs!

There is no comparison to the greatest gift of all time in God’s incarnation and ultimately Christ’s sacrifice for our sins. Hebrews says, that for the joy set before Him, He came humbly and lived among us. He gave Himself to us and His life away for us. His gift keeps giving through the gift of Himself in the indwelling Holy Spirit who guides, comforts, strengthens and reminds us of our identity, our future, and our key to the throne room of God.  We are seen, safe, secure, and soothed forever.

Ironically, the infinitesimal comparative gifts we offered on December 20th to our lovely friends has brought us immeasurable joy, though temporal. With that comes the desire to do it again, in new creative ways.  God has told us in His Word to give to the poor, and our recently discovered conclusion is He has said that to increase our joy and understanding of Jesus’s love in giving to us. For it is we who are the unmitigatedly poor in every way until we receive His personalized and specialized gift of Himself - The Priceless Gift .

Three years ago, in partnership with the Orange Mound Arts Council, My Cup of Tea launched an effort to support Black artists, raise the profile of the Orange Mound community, and to grow support for our social enterprise that employs women from the neighborhood. We have been blessed with the opportunity to work with some of Memphis’ most talented artists, all of whom have their work displayed in homes and businesses across the nation. Their stunning paintings have helped us sell out of the tea boxes that display their artwork, which, of course, helps us keep local women employed.

This past Friday, just as in previous years, we unveiled the creation of the selected artist and the tea box that displays the new artwork. This year’s artist, Darlene Newman, grew up and lives just outside the borders of Orange Mound and has been a professional artist for over 22 years. Darlene’s work is bright and whimsical, but full of depth and commentary on her faith journey and lived experience.

Drive through the Memphis community, and you will find her murals decorating places like the South Memphis Farmer’s Market. Her creations have been displayed in galleries in New Orleans, Atlanta, and Nashville, and she has traveled across the country to many different states to share her work. Darlene is also the creator of “Orange Mound Bound,” an animated series that will be shown on Amazon and Roku TV.

For My Cup of Tea, Darlene painted an homage to the traditional “shotgun” homes that were once synonymous with living in Orange Mound. Those homes are less common today, but part of the rich history of this proud community. Darlene named the acrylic, “Happiness at Home.” The work is based on an actual house on Hanley Street in the Cherokee community of Memphis.

“My hope is that my artwork not only adds beauty to these tea boxes but also symbolizes the strength and resilience of the women working at My Cup of Tea,” says Darlene Newman. “Their dedication to creating a better future for themselves and their community is truly inspiring.”

We have named the tea, “Home” to recognize and honor the neighborhood where the My Cup of Tea ladies live and work, but also to communicate that the sisterhood that has evolved has made the House at 3028 Carnes and the experiences we share there feel like home.

For an experience so intense and a work of art so warm and inviting, we needed a complementary tea. Debbie Hert, our tea expert, with the help of some of the ladies and some of our customers, chose Lemon Ginger Oolong to fill the tea box. This tea has a robust and fresh lemon flavor with the warmness and spiciness of freshly peeled ginger. It is a tea that from the first sip connotes the fondness of wherever you call home.

As in past years, we have licensed a limited number of tea boxes with the artist’s work on the front. These are available for $15 until they are all sold. What is different this year is that you also have the opportunity to own a signed, limited edition canvas print of this exquisite artwork. Darlene is allowing our customers to preorder prints.

Finally, we have been blessed by the partnership without friends at the Orange Mound Arts Council, and our winning artists, Andre Miller, Danny Broadway, and Darlene Newman. However, the success of this annual event would not have been possible without our customers and supporters. Thank you for supporting our artists, buying the tea box, and sharing our mission with your family and friends.

Last Thursday the citizens of Memphis elected a young energetic mayor named Paul Young.  His acceptance to lead in our city’s recovery, redemption, and restoration was motivating and inspiring, and he challenged us constituents without notes. 

“I want to make sure that together we go through a transformation, a transformation that’s going to take us from hopelessness to hopeful; from poverty to prosperity, from hurt to healing, from stalled to thriving, and from good to truly great,” he said.

 

There is much ahead for the transformation of our city, and many will be enlisted to join the many already engaged. Orange Mound is only one of over 100 neighborhoods in Memphis. My Cup of Tea is among several other organizations here and committed to do our part. We join with our common love for our community and a desire to see it flourish. Mayor Young’s eloquent words, in a rhythmic cadence, are similar to the call we share with the neighbors on our block.  At least weekly as we work, pray, and plan at the House in Orange Mound, we beckon our employees to work for the neighborhood’s healing.

 When we began our mission 10 years ago, the emphasis was therapeutic and self-improvement discipleship.  Extending resources to move single moms to stability above the poverty line was our goal, and we selected Orange Mound because of its proximity to the middle of the city and its reported needs. We discovered the rich history and the neighborhood pride after we bought properties here.

A decade has found us faithful to our initial vision. Now we have contextualized our discipleship beyond personal growth and piety and   have expanded our assignment beyond our fences. There is a refreshed sense of public engagement and interest in the neighborhood. The perceived stability at our address is attributed in part to friendship evangelism, devoted volunteers, and the trust and dependability of our work staff.  The safety we experience and feel here is palpable and gives us oxygen within our walls. 

Psychiatrist, Dr. Curt Thompson, in his latest book, The Deepest Place, informs that mental health is contingent on and supported when a person is seen, soothed, secure, and safe. The 4 “Ss” are foundational before one can seek and participate in the prosperity of his home, neighborhood, or much more, his city. Our ladies are SEEN, SOOTHED, SECURE and SAFE. 

Mayor Paul Young has over 100 neighborhoods to encourage and catalyze. He would do well to meet and showcase three of our ladies who are role models in the effort of improving Orange Mound.

Cool cuts yards and trims hedges for many in our neighborhood, beyond the picture-perfect state she maintains for our property. She selects a yard of the month in our zone and stakes a sign in the front yard of the winner. She also brings discarded furniture left on curbs and repurposes, refinishes, and resells it. Her mother, Ms. Pearl, delivers food from the local food banks to many of the house bound as well as for some of our employees who have no transportation.

Deborah delivers food left over from our lunches to many of the men and women she encounters on the streets on her way home.  She prays for them and checks on them again. She visits our friends in the hospital, gives many employees rides to the doctor, and stays with them.  Daily she intercedes in prayer and often with tears of compassion for our staff and employees.

Cheryl is “all in” and a model Orange Mound citizen.  She beautifies her space, walks the neighborhood as she prays for it, drives neighborhood children to school when the weather is unpleasant, and she writes letters to pastors advocating for our unchurched neighbors.  She attends all community meetings and is always informed on positive movements.  She is the first to offer hope and compassion to all who enter our front door.

Our enthusiastic Mayor needs city-wide public engagement for the more than 100 neighborhoods to realize his vision of a Memphis renaissance. In the meantime, Orange Mound’s civic-minded women and men are already active in that endeavor and doing our part in Orange Mound.

Change begins in the hearts of those who love this city. Here is a list of most, if not all, of the City’s neighborhoods.  The task is daunting for a city of roughly 620,000 but quite possible one neighborhood at a time, just like changing lives one teacup at a time.

Benjamin Franklin was wrong.

Commenting on his hopes for the durability of the newly drafted U.S. Constitution, Franklin famously said,

…in this world, nothing is certain, but death and taxes.

But Franklin, an undisputed genius, left at least one thing out – change.

Change is inevitable. From the cosmetic to the life-altering, micro to macro, we experience change daily. And if we’re honest, most of us don’t like it very much. Entrepreneur and popular podcaster, Tim Ferriss has been quoted as saying,

People would rather be unhappy than uncertain.

Underscoring this notion is a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. Researchers used five different tests for five different, diverse groups of students. In the first test, students were asked to evaluate requirements for graduation along with a possible change to those requirements.

In the second test, students considered the practice of acupuncture. Researchers used 4 different descriptions of acupuncture with the primary difference being the length of time the procedure had been in use. Some students received the descriptions with more recent origin stories and others received the descriptions with earlier origin dates.

The third test involved a painting for which students were asked to rate its aesthetic qualities. Some students were told the artwork was created in 1905, while others were advised the artist painted it in 2005.

In study 4, students were given a photograph and description of a tree and asked to rate its aesthetic qualities. Some descriptions were manipulated to say the tree was older than the same tree in other students’ descriptions.

Finally, students were approached on campus and asked to participate in a product expansion taste test for a chocolate producer. Students were told one chocolate was first produced and sold first in 1937, while the other chocolate was first produced and sold in 2003.

By now you may have guessed the “punchline.” In every test, the older, more established item was rated significantly better than the more recent item. We are conditioned to place a higher value on those things in life that seem more certain and to fear those which are less tested despite their other merits. Sometimes, we would rather stay in our uncomfortable and difficult situations because it is what we know and change is scary.

At My Cup of Tea, the core of our mission is to help change lives for the better. There are some ways in which we can affect change. We can provide a job with fair wages, so women in Orange Mound can pay their bills. We can offer a good meal daily and provide emergency funds for a sister with an unexpected expense. We can plant and cultivate gardens, so the ladies have fresh produce and stave off food insecurity. We can educate about finances, tea, and, of course, Scripture. These are the changes in their lives where we can exercise at least some control. But even these “good” changes can be unnerving when they are new, different from what you know, and don’t guarantee success.

Then there are the changes weighing us down lately - the ones we cannot control. Within the last month, three of the ladies have lost loved ones. One lost a father on the heels of losing her mother to COVID two years ago. Another said goodbye to her sister suffering from multiple illnesses, and she had to make the gut-wrenching decision to remove her from life support. The third lost her daughter, a wife and mother of three, in what most of us would consider an unimaginable way. She was murdered by a stray bullet.

Of course, there is nothing we can do to change these outcomes. All we can do is what we have so many times in the past. We can pray with and for them. We can exercise patience and understanding. We can assist with funeral expenses, which can break the back of one already struggling to make the ends meet.

Most importantly, we can remind each other that amid the tumult that is change, we don’t have to be afraid because of the one thing that will never change – God.

“Jesus is the same, yesterday and today and forever.” – Hebrews 13:8

Jeremiah 29:7” Seek the peace and prosperity of the city (neighborhood) to which I have carried you into exile”.

Orange Mound isn’t exactly exilic, but many who live here feel they are in exile compared to the prosperous and gated neighborhoods they drive past.

We are not gated here; we are boarded up.  Windows are nailed shut, doors are bolted, and crime is ubiquitous looking and finding foot holds where we let our defenses slack.

Memphis has received yet another unwanted distinction. We are THE most dangerous city in America according to FBI statistics. We are a proud city despising that nomenclature.  We who are loyal and committed are determined to bring peace. I imagine most in our city who still want to initiate law, order, peace, and safety would consider Orange Mound as a logical place to start remediation.

Last week I invited 5 of our employees into a conversation and asked what might be contributing to our community’s high crime rate. One said,

“Babies are having babies, and don’t know how to raise a child in the way he should go”, as she quoted Proverbs 22:6.  

Another added, “

Young kids are walking around with guns in their hip pocket, skipping school and joining gangs”. 

“No decent jobs,” answered a third.

What can a dozen women working in a tea company in a crime-ridden neighborhood do to further peace and safety? Could we find courage to step in where there is a need we can help meet? 

“The teens don’t listen to us” said the fourth, and mother of yet another teen who is pregnant and expecting a baby boy this winter.

“What is our responsibility as citizens to the young women who are birthing children in their teens?  What is our role for reaching their babies?” I asked.

One answer to a complicated problem with many needed interventions can be found in improving literacy. Members of three churches have stepped up to address struggling literacy rates in our public schools.  Arise 2 Read, a successful, faith-based literacy intervention nonprofit has agreed to guide us.

The statistics are heavy-laden as of May 24, 2023, 84% of third graders in Shelby County did not meet proficiency requirements on the Tennessee Comprehensive Assessment Program (TCAP). Professionals who administer and evaluate the results attribute this to the tragic truth that 76% of these third graders in Shelby County cannot read at grade level.

Experts universally agree that reading proficiency by the end of the third grade is one of the crucial markers in a child’s educational development. Failure to read proficiently by then is linked to high rates of school dropout, which impacts their confidence, productivity, and contributions to the community.  My pastor has said that prisons expand as students drop out of school.

Sixty-five percent of students who are not reading on grade level by 4th grade will eventually be incarcerated or on welfare. By contrast, 89% of students who are proficient by 4th grade will graduate from high school drastically improving the chances they will thrive as adults.

If a child is not reading in the third grade, he or she will most likely eventually drop out of school and look for something to do with lots of time and no diploma to leverage for a job.  The statistics continue to predict that unsupervised youth find each day full of dangerous options, and their choices include drugs, car theft, reckless driving, and gun violence. High school dropouts are 3.5 times more likely to be arrested than their peers who complete high school, for example.

I asked all five ladies if they would be willing to help second graders learn to read at our neighborhood elementary school, and they said “yes”.

Two who said “yes”, became proactive and attended training by Arise 2 Read last Thursday night. Now, within a week’s time they have joined 500 more women and men who want to be part of the solution for our stressed public schools. Low literacy rates in our elementary schools are a burdensome and sobering fact, and though we can’t enforce criminal laws ourselves, we can coach a 7-year-old how to read at grade level.

 The investment of time, which is one hour a week, and prayer will be faith-wrapped. 

“But when the righteous prosper the city rejoices and there is dancing in the streets”, Proverbs 11:10. 

 The righteous are those citizens who are seeking peace for our city.

 Prov.11:11 encourages us,

 “Through the blessing of the upright a city is exalted.”

 “A kind-hearted woman gains honor.” Prov 11:16.

 In a few weeks, our ladies will join other coaches commencing fresh relationships with second graders, the graduating class of  2032.

This Spring 8000 Memphis kids will drop out of high school, if conservative estimates prevail.

 We must try.

“People thrive when they have a mix of new and novel experiences combined with steadfast foundations like a home, family, routines, and traditions.”

This is the opening sentence in an article from Psychology Today by Dr. Kimberly Key. It could almost serve as a reimagined mission statement for My Cup of Tea. At its core, our mission is to help women in Orange Mound “thrive” vocationally and spiritually.  We introduce them to “novel experiences” like gardening, food preparation, and properly steeping and drinking hot tea. We want The House to feel like a “home” and the employees and volunteers to feel like “family.” Every day is filled with “routines,” like prayer and lunch together. After years of working together in the Orange Mound community, we have our traditions, too.

Birthdays

Celebrating a co-worker’s birthday is a common workplace occurrence, but at The House we do it special. It starts as soon as the doors open in the morning. All sorts of breakfast fare provided by the honoree’s co-workers are spread across our kitchen table. The “birthday lady” enjoys fruit, pastries, juice, and most of the usual delectables that comprise a Continental Breakfast.

A clothespin is attached to the uniform of the honoree and throughout the day co-workers and guests fill it with various denominations of cash. The celebrant wears the money-filled clip the entire day like a large brooch and typically goes home with a handsome sum.

After lunch, there is the customary birthday cake, but not the traditional, tired rendition of the “Happy Birthday” song. The version the My Cup of Tea ladies sing is boisterous, enthusiastic and involves clapping, dancing, and laughing. It is impossible not to feel loved and celebrated when the ladies sing “Happy Birthday.”

Garden Days

From the early spring to late fall, Wednesdays are “garden days.” We have written often about the vegetable gardens at The House. Every woman who wants a garden has a garden and “hump days” are generally reserved for that activity. When they weed, plant, or harvest, the ladies are not alone. They are usually joined by volunteers with gardening expertise who help them maintain the gardens and suggest what will grow well. If the work in the vegetable garden is light, there is always the large herb garden in the back that needs tending or flower in the various beds surrounding The House. The vegetables and herbs are important for staving off food insecurity, but the conversations and camaraderie are just as nutritious. From discussions about various ways to prepare squash to deep spiritual truths, time together in the gardens is about sharing and learning.

Christmas

Many families take their Christmas traditions for granted, but many of the women we have served over the years didn’t have holiday traditions until they arrived at My Cup of Tea. The My Cup of Tea ladies enjoy a hearty holiday lunch with volunteers, but the climax of the celebration is when their “Secret Santas” are revealed. Weeks prior to the event, each lady draws the name of a co-worker and keeps it to herself. She purchases a gift using the money she has earned working at My Cup of Tea and the knowledge she’s learned about the recipient. One at time, the ladies open their gifts for everyone to see and learn who is their “Secret Santa.” The “Santas” explain why they chose the gift for their recipient, and there are usually tears, laughter, and excessive Christmas joy.

Prayer Sessions

Maybe the most important traditions we have at My Cup of Tea are our impromptu prayer sessions. It is understood that anyone at The House, the volunteers, friends or relatives, or our Orange Mound neighbors can ask for prayer at any time. Just show up and ask and everything stops. We gather around the person and pray as specifically or generically as they have requested, trusting that our Heavenly Father hears and answers in His perfect way and time.

When My Cup of Tea was founded, it was not explicitly part of our plan to establish traditions. Traditions come about because of our need for belonging, continuity, and the ability to trust in something or someone. These traditions sprung up organically, in part because most of the women we have served lacked a place or purpose to which they could belong. Most had little to no continuity in their lives from having a place to go and work daily, a place to live for an extended period, or people on whom they could rely. Specific details of the traditions may change over time, but the women of My Cup of Tea know that they can count on them to happen, and they can trust the people who are a part of them.

Last month many Memphians experienced power insecurity as rarely seen before when the power grid was down for days.  The delays in restoring the power frustrated all who were waiting, as well as those who were feverishly at work in record heat indexes to recover it.

Hot heads committed felonious acts, and a sense of desperation dogged the “dog days of summer.” When an entire block is down, there is no impetus to be neighborly.

Most of us don’t know our neighbors anyway. A recent poll states only 26% of Americans have said they really know their neighbors. Professor of Sociology, Rebecca Adams has noted “There are a few key conditions necessary for developing neighborly friendship. Included are: proximity, repeated unplanned interactions, and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down.”

Perhaps the lack of sidewalks and front porches and commercial businesses within their neighborhood have kept most Memphians merely waving and rarely talking to a bystander. We drive by unsociable.

Sidewalks, commerce, and front porches abound in Orange Mound.  Nevertheless, doors stay locked to a knock, and no one is rocking on the veranda. Creditors and predators make house calls here and hospitality is a lost art to caution and defense.

The NIV translation of the Bible says “Love your neighbor” 508 times. Obeying that charge is our mission at The House, and we are gaining on it.

At My Cup of Tea our employees are beloved neighbors, though none live on our block. Many were without power in July’s extended heat advisory. Normally hot

days lead to hot and angry reactions, but not so with our ladies.  The patience in inconvenient times is unmistakable and the creativity they show is uncommon.  Deborah instructed all to use wet towels as a light cover when trying to sleep.  Many volunteers brought food and beverages. We who had power offered extra sleeping arrangements for those who had nailed shut windows and intentionally bolted doors.  The House stayed open, and most were able to come and refresh as our utilities never stopped.

Vulnerable, yet never overcome, the ladies could have taught techniques and lessons to many Memphians who were stuck in the unlucky parts of town. There is always an exchange of tricks and tips among our women who work at the tea company.

In the 10 years we have been working with women in Orange Mound, our mission has always been to be present and trustworthy. The Kingdom advances only through relationships of love and availability.  Befriending takes time and emotional energy.  God calls us to entangle our lives in thick and thin, cold and hot, clean and dirty, darkness and light, easy and hard, and we do this very well.

Recently, each of the ladies selected a Volunteer/Sister from one of the dozens who come here to be her personal mentor.  Authentic friendships have superseded the initial awkward attempts to be more than an acquaintance.   Our volunteers have been unwavering in their commitment to know the ladies without judgement or patronym.

All the coupled ladies are meeting once a week to share the common threads that occupy our prayers and needs and hopes.  I am convinced there is no obligation among any, for there is an air of excitement.  Several have gone out to dinner together, and two had a date to the movies.

Some are sharing Bible study, and some are working shoulder to shoulder in the tasks for the day. Neighborly love is swarming around us, and our rocking chairs are slapping in rhythm on the porch.

Americans are obsessed with “national days.”

These are the days of the year when we’re called to commemorate and celebrate the interests of various segments of society. There are so many of these national days that every day of the year includes multiple, unrelated topics of recognition. These topics and interests range from the profound to the downright wacky.

In the month of July, we will have highlighted 174 causes in just 31 days of the month. We’ve recognized National Chronic Disease Day, National Hire a Veteran Day, and National Disability Independence Day. We also “celebrated” National Tape Measure Day, National Dive Bar Day, and National Dimples Day.

The month of August won’t be much different in terms of volume and quirkiness, but there is at least one day of significance to My Cup of Tea. The first Sunday of August - August 6^th - is National Sisters Day.

Coincidentally, National Sisters Day was founded in 1996 by sisters and Memphians, Tricia Eleogram and Stacey Lowery. The biological sisters concocted the idea on a trip to Florida and later co-authored a book about sisterhood. The purpose of the day, according to the founders, is to celebrate the “spirit of sisterhood.”

By now, you know that we acclaim the sisterhood at My Cup of Tea. Among the employees, none are biological sisters. To our knowledge, there is no biological relationship between any of our volunteers and the My Cup of Tea ladies. And yet, there is a palpable connection between these individuals who frequent The House.

President Obama famously said,

“Any fool can have a child. It’s the courage to raise a child that makes you a father.”

This sentiment that being a father is about more than DNA holds true when we think about sisters. Sisters may be born into the same family and genetically connected, but being a sister is about the lasting bonds between two women or a group of women. It is about both being present for all of life’s twists and turns and putting in the “work” to nurture and grow the relationship into something irreplaceable.

Sisters are the women in your life with the ability to feel what you feel, even if they’ve never experienced it. They laugh when you laugh and cry when you cry. They say the things you need to hear, but don’t want to hear. Sisters defend you in public, then set you straight when no one’s watching. Sisters accept you for who you are and tell you that you’re enough. From disappointments to life’s tragedies, sisters grieve with you and help you recover. Author Alice Walker may have said it best,

“Is solace anywhere more comforting than that in the arms of a sister?”

Over the last 10 years, the My Cup of Tea sisters have shed a lot of tears together – some the profoundly sad kind and others from laughing too hard. We’ve had “Come to Jesus” conversations, literally and figuratively to keep us on the narrow path. We have accepted each other as we are and always try to affirm that each of us is enough. We have been present and put in the work and have lasting bonds between us.

But the unbreakable bond we share, now and forever, is that we are sisters in Christ. Despite hard times, disagreements, being apart, or even death, nothing can “separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:39)

Happy National Sisters Day! Tell her you love her. Pray for her, and continue to pray for our sisters  at The House in Orange Mound.

The weight, anxiety, and fear of living in poverty can lead to poor decisions made in desperation. One of the temptations of living below the poverty line is available, fast, and ever-ready shortcuts. We frequently encourage the My Cup of Tea ladies to pray when there is “too much week at the end of the month” and too little money to make it through.

One of the ladies, who works two jobs and has been with us for 8 years, balances her budget most months and is proud to have raised her credit score. Attending and applying classes on money management, she has kept the lights on in her apartment and gas in her own car. She is “winning” and respected in the neighborhood and rightfully proud of it.  She pays on time and avoids penalties. Last Wednesday on her way to work at My Cup of Tea, she cashed her paycheck for rent. The rent due was over $650.00. The small pocket in her fashionable, skinny jeans didn’t hold fast the bank envelope and the money fell out in our parking lot.

Another one of the ladies has been with us only a year and a half and admittedly only recently found her trust in the Lord’s provisions.  She came to us recovering from drugs and alcohol and deep in debt. Unbelieving, suspicious, and hopeless, she often said she didn’t want any of our ladies in her business and preferred her privacy. She needed the job we offered, but not the generous nonmaterial perks of which we are most proud. Trusting God for her needs might take too long and letting Him shepherd her choices was out of the question.             

That same Wednesday, she went through the parking lot to her garden to check on her bell peppers and discovered the bank envelope.  “Finders Keepers” ran through her thoughts. “I am out of money, and God just dropped this down,” the devil said. She wisely rejected the claim and brought the money to me. 

“I would have kept it in my former days”, she confessed, “but I know now that I must be honest and give it up”.

Only a few short minutes later, the sister who had lost the bank roll appeared, and anxious for nothing but in peace and faith said, “I lost my rent money somewhere close”. 

“Here it is”!  The employee shouted.

The two ladies hugged, thanked the Lord, and rejoiced that the trial had revealed their faith and maturity in a profound test.

Here it is, Lord.  Here is a testimony that many of us, like our employees, are valuing honesty and faith over quick and dishonest gain.

Here it is, Lord.  Here is a testimony that the time, talent, and treasures of wisdom have registered in the hearts of our employees, whom we call our neighbors.

Here it is, Lord. Here is proof that anxieties can be cast on You, and You prove us able to have victory in the test.

Here it is, Lord.  Here is the assurance that You are changing lives in Orange Mound, a neighborhood known for crime and decay, and building a new community through women who call you their husband, provider, and redeemer.

Here we are, Lord.  Would you continue to shepherd us at My Cup of Tea and deepen our dependence on You as You broaden Your reach and strengthen Your grip on the ladies and this neighborhood.

For all the ills of social media, occasionally something worthwhile appears in my feed. A teacher I have known for many years posted about some training in which she’s engaged. As a part of the training, she was asked to play an online game called Spent. You can find it at www.playspent.org.

Spent is designed to help players get a sense of what it is like to be poor in America. The game was designed by McKinney, a prominent advertising firm with clients like Popeye’s and the NFL, in partnership with Urban Ministries of Durham.

The scenario is that you have lost your job, and you are down to your last $1,000. The object of the game is to provide for your family for 30 days without exhausting all your funds. The game provides opportunities to earn money, as well as options for shaving expenses, but players also must address realistic needs to remain in the game.

I played the game twice.

The first time I lasted for 23 days, but if it was my life, I would have starved. The small number of groceries I purchased would have allowed me to eat only once per day. The second time, I assumed wisdom gained in the first round would have given me an advantage, but the game ended for me after 17 days.

In both iterations, I had the choice to work as an admin with a temp agency, a warehouse worker packing and lifting boxes, or as wait staff in a casual restaurant. These are essentially the same low-paying, unreliable choices the poor in Memphis have.

Next, I needed a place to live.

The rent for a tiny apartment 50 miles away was $600 per month, but travel expenses were $160. To live in town, rent skyrocketed to $850 per month with travel expenses of only $5, but remember I only had a thousand to spend.

Not unlike the game, the average size for a two bedroom apartment in Orange Mound is 836 square feet and the rent is $703 per mo. Whether the location has standard appliances like a stove and refrigerator is a roll of the dice. In the game, I had to sell many of my belongings because they wouldn’t fit in my tiny apartment. I made $150.

With $360 to spend and only 5 days into the month, my pet became very ill. Medicine would have cured it, but I couldn’t afford it if I wanted to eat. I made the gut-wrenching choice to put my pet to sleep for only $50. Medicine would have cost $400.

The second time I played, my grandfather passed away – the loss of a family member is something we all experience and can’t usually anticipate. The difference in the game and my actual situation is that in the game, I had to choose between flying to the funeral for $350, driving for $75, or missing the funeral. I chose to drive, bringing my funds down to $286, and it was only the 6^th day of the month.

 If you have followed the happenings at My Cup of Tea for any length of time, you know we have experienced more than our share of death. Many of the ladies have been in the even more difficult position of being responsible for funeral expenses but unable to pay them.

Each time I played I was met with a $250 bill with an immediate due date. My options? Pay it and leave myself with only $36 for the remainder of the month or ignore and hope to be able to catch it up later. This has been a common scenario among the women we serve and a primary reason we maintain an emergency fund. I chose to ignore the bill as poor women in our community often must do, which digs the debt hole deeper and destroys personal credit.

Things aren’t all bad, though. Someone gave me a hand-me-down coat to replace the tattered one I was wearing. I have also been invited to a free concert with friends. The problem is that I have a child and will need to pay a sitter at least $30. Since it is only the eighth day of the month, I decided to stay home. Opportunities for the poor in our community to socialize and enjoy activities - something we all need to lower stress and for stronger mental health - are cost prohibitive.

In both attempts at Spent, my car broke down. Low income people cite lack of reliable transportation as a primary impediment to improving their financial situation. At My Cup of Tea, it is an almost weekly occurrence for someone to be unable to make it to work because of a car problem or lack of any transportation to get there. Our emergency fund has paid for countless car parts, mechanic fees, and tires.

With less than $200, I had to buy groceries. There were 15 days left in the month and more bills to pay, so I made careful but not healthy choices. I bought fish sticks, peanut butter, and beans for protein, instead of chicken. Ramen noodles and powdered drink mix helped me stretch. I bought eggs, milk, and bread, too. My child ate breakfast and lunch at school, but I was only able to eat about once per day. Food insecurity is a legitimate threat to the low income and the main reason we provide lunch daily at My Cup of Tea with the generous support of volunteers.

We’ve written often in this blog and elsewhere about the plight of low income women in Orange Mound. What we have shared is not exclusive to Orange Mound. If you didn’t know we were writing about our neighborhood, the anecdotes could have occurred in South or North Memphis, Binghampton, Frayser, Springdale, and numerous other communities inside the City. Spent provides a miniscule taste of the chaos faced by those living in poverty and the poor list of “solutions” available to address the barrage of crises. Unlike the My Cup of Tea ladies and thousands in our community like them, if the Spent scenario becomes too difficult, we can ex out.