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Grit-N-Grind

Grit-N-Grind

     The 901, especially its largest component, Memphis, is comprised of many distinct communities with their own traditions, histories, personalities, and venues. From architecture to eateries to neighborhood priorities, one can witness stark differences by simply crossing the street. These distinctions contribute to the incomparable aura that is Memphis. And if only one of these communities could be chosen as most representative of the community at-large, it would undoubtedly be Orange Mound. Yes, we’re biased, but here’s our case.

     It’s been more than a decade now since the phrase Grit-N-Grind was coined to describe the style of basketball played by our beloved Memphis Grizzlies during the Allen-Randolph-Gasol era. The city and its surrounding communities embraced the slogan, not just for applicability to basketball, but because it described a way of life for many Memphians.

     The median income in Memphis for an individual is $26,000 and less than $42,000 for a household. Only 31% of residents have educational attainment higher than a high school diploma. And we are all too familiar with the impact of crime on families, businesses, and neighborhoods. Making the ends meet for many is a daily grind and not for the faint of heart.

     Yet, there is pride and determination in our Memphis. We’ve seen bad times before, but we won’t quit, ever. We are perfectly capable of pointing out what’s wrong, so if you’re not from here, don’t be condescending by trying to tell us how we can improve. We love our barbecue, our blues, and our basketball, and we will line them up against your best any day, but we’re so much more than just those things.

     Like the city as a whole, Orange Mound’s median income and educational attainment are low – even lower than the dismal numbers citywide. Crime crept in during the 1980s and hasn’t left, and there is no doubt that putting food on the table and paying rent in Orange Mound is a gritty business.

     But Orange Mound knows good times too. It was once a thriving community for middle income African Americans who owned homes and businesses. The community is the home to elite athletes and scholars. Music legends played the Handy Theatre and civil rights icons like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. patronized Orange Mound businesses. Because of these attributes and more, there is a palpable pride in the neighborhood felt most intensely in conversation with people who have lived and attended school here. This group of Orange Mound residents won’t surrender their home to the plagues or poverty, crime, and blight.

     We hear the same sentiment from the women at My Cup of Tea. There is not a hint of resignation in their voices. No one has given up on the prospect of a thriving Orange Mound. The sentiment is more than “lip service” as some have purchased homes in the neighborhood, rather than moving. Others aspire to purchase a home in Orange Mound, rather than finding a way out. Each supports local businesses as often as they can, and some even volunteer for community organizations. Their goals to improve their own lives through employment at My Cup of Tea extend beyond their urgent needs to their neighbors and the Orange Mound neighborhood.

    So, this September 1st, please excuse us if we celebrate the 901 with a little extra enthusiasm. We’re not bragging…much. We’re just excited for all that we know Memphis and Orange Mound can be.

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5 Reasons Art Matters to Us

5 Reasons Art Matters to Us

If you read our blog or follow us on social media, you have likely seen various references to artistic endeavors we have, or are currently, pursuing. The tea box design contest, Kintsugi, sewing, refurbishing furniture, embroidery and the art-covered walls of The House are all examples of how we include exposure to and support of art in our daily tasks. But why? How does support for the arts help My Cup of Tea achieve its mission?

Here are 5 reasons we are intentional about incorporating art into strategy to improve the lives of Orange Mound women:

Arts are critical for community revitalization

As we told you in a blog post in June of 2021, there is broad agreement in the community development arena that art is essential to revitalizing a community. As a Princeton University working paper put it,

“The arts revitalize neighborhoods and promote economic prosperity. Participation in the arts improves physical and psychological well-being. The arts provide a catalyst for the creation of social capital and the attainment of important community goals.”

Bill Strickland, an activist and founder of the Manchester Craftsmen’s Guild in inner-city Pittsburg argued in an NPR TED Radio Talk that exposure to beauty is critical to community change. He says whether music, painting, sculpting or dance, engaging with beauty on a consistent basis changes vocabularies, behaviors, and raises expectations for what is possible for the community to a new level.

Doing our part to help revitalize the once thriving Orange Mound neighborhood has always been a part of our mission, and therefore so is supporting the arts.

Creativity is important to health and healing

Referencing the trauma My Cup of Tea women have experienced is something we do often. We want you to better understand how remarkable it is they have survived and are making progress toward thriving. Overcoming that trauma is a process that can take many years. We pray together, recommend professional help, and incorporate art in our activities, like our ongoing Kintsugi classes we wrote about recently.

"Creativity in and of itself is important for remaining healthy, remaining connected to yourself and connected to the world." Christianne Strang, a professor of neuroscience at the University of Alabama Birmingham and the former president of the American Art Therapy Association told NPR in a 2020 interview.

The benefits are not limited to a single type of art, but extend to drawing, painting, knitting, cake decorating and a nearly unlimited list of possibilities. Participating in art can be healing for those coping with trauma but can also enhance well-being of those generally mentally and emotionally healthy.

Black artists are historically underrepresented

In 2019, a study was conducted by a group of mathematicians, statisticians, and art historians at Williams College together with Kevin M. Murphy, senior curator of American and European Art at Williams College Museum of Art, and Steven Nelson, professor of African and African American Art at UCLA, as reported by the digital news source, Hyperallergic. The study found that in 18 of the nation’s major museums, 85% of the artists represented are white and 87% are men.

We didn’t know about this study when we launched the tea box design contest last year, but anecdotally, we knew that there were Black artists doing amazing work who are virtually unknown. It is also true that Orange Mound is arguably the oldest African American neighborhood in the United States. We believed then, and now, that a Black artist was best positioned to represent the story of Orange Mound in the art for the tea box.

After a successful 2021 contest where we chose Andre’ Miller to create the art for our new tea box, we have relaunched the contest for 2022. The rules and rewards are the same, and the deadline is September 1st for artists to submit a portfolio. If you know of someone who might be interested, please direct them to the entry portal: www.shopmycupoftea/proposals

Art helps imagine a more hopeful future

Overcoming trauma and poverty requires hard work and perseverance, but it also necessary to believe that a better future is possible. This is true of any of us facing a daunting task or a discouraging season in life. Art is one of the ways we can manage those feelings of despair and doubt and look to better days.

Dr. Girija Kaimal at Drexel University is an art therapy researcher who works with patients suffering with PTSD. Dr. Kaimal told NPR that she believes the brain is a predictive “machine” that uses information to decide what we will do next and what we need to do to survive and thrive in the future.

"This act of imagination is actually an act of survival," she says. "It is preparing us to imagine possibilities and hopefully survive those possibilities."

Art is a gift from God

How many photos on social media do we see from all over the world of magnificent sunsets, sunrises, or rainbows? How often have the world’s most renowned artists depicted the stars, planets, and the moon? Creation alone is the ultimate artwork by the ultimate Artist.

Throughout the Bible, the harp, lyre, flute, tambourine, singers – the art of music- are called for worshipping God.

In I Kings 6, King Solomon builds the temple according to God’s commands. It included intricate artwork such as carvings “with gourds and open flowers,” entire areas overlaid with pure gold, a pair of cherubim approximately 15 feet tall each made from olive wood and overlaid with gold, and carvings of palm trees and cherubim in the doors to the temple. These are a few of the detailed works that were included in the temple design.

Clearly, we have been blessed with the gift of art, so we desire to incorporate it in our daily lives.

Conclusion

As we said last year, “beyond this single project, we envision future opportunities to empower and promote Black artists annually. Emphasizing the beauty and talent that exists in this historic community is essential to support its rebirth,” and the rebirth of the women we serve.

Retiring Shelby County Commissioner Reginald Milton, commenting in the Commercial Appeal on the opening of the Orange Mound Gallery may have said it best.

“Art is a way to express our fears, our passions, our concerns, our anger. Art is unique, it is a gift from God to humans.”

#tea #art #blackartists #tealover #painting #woodworking #teahouse #jewelrymaking #monogramming #sewing

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A Front Porch Promise

A Front Porch Promise

               The original homes built by Orange Mound African Americans in the late 19th and early 20th centuries were modest in square footage on narrow lots.  The majority called shot-gun houses were one room about 12 feet wide and several rooms deep.  A hallway to one side connected all of the rooms.  A front porch with several rocking chairs and a swing, if space allowed, was always the norm.  

                Front porches were intentionally used to bring friends closer to the heart of the home. After supper in the Summer and all day on the weekends, the still air was stirred with chatter about current events, canards, kindness, and courtship.

                The ladies at the House in Orange Mound on Carnes are continuing the tradition as they rock on our front porch. Neighbors and strangers passing by are offered a wave and a smile. The “how to be a good neighbor” has been passed through generations, but the “where to do it” has diminished in time with the attrition of affordable, stable housing here.  The once proud and thriving community has been weakened by neglect, poverty, and graft.  No matter the deplorable condition of the home, the rent has increased, along with the leaks in the roofs and the numbers of rats entering through the holes in the floors. Front porches are gone, and the front doors are doubly bolted most everywhere.

                Almost every woman wants a safe home and one in which she can put her treasures on display, whatever those treasurers are to her. The My Cup of Tea ladies eagerly learn from our resourced volunteers how to personalize their spaces to reflect their taste and culture. Friendship and common interests have identified yet another soul connection in our midst. We continue to grow in fellowship sharing the common threads of domestic interests, home beautification, and how to DIY.

                Painting a cracked wall, putting plywood over a rat portal, or signaling S-O-S to repair a sinking roof is our immediate, temporary fix. Much like the boy with his finger in the dike, we have helped stave off disaster, but it is inevitable without a longer-term solution.

                When we founded My Cup of Tea in the duplex on Semmes Street, we

also purchased the lot across the street with the idea that one day we might grow enough to expand there. Over the last few years, circumstances changed. The duplex was better suited for the Neighborhood Christian Center, so we swapped locations giving us the space we need for now. And we discovered first-hand the deplorable living conditions plaguing some of the women who work here.

                With a sense of urgency, we partnered with United Housing, a local nonprofit whose mission is to provide quality housing opportunities to Mid-South residents. Our plan is to build 4 single-family, rent-to-own homes in a style consistent with the original architecture of Orange Mound. Using their expertise, United Housing is securing the funds to build these new homes. My Cup of Tea

is working to raise $25,000 to cover architectural, legal, environmental, and surveying expenses, known as “soft costs.” We need your help.

                We have applied for a $25,000 grant through Gannett, the parent company of the Commercial Appeal. Through their annual A Community Thrives campaign, we can become eligible for the grant, but first must raise a minimum of $6,000. If we, don’t qualify for the $25,000, we still keep everything raised and intend to use it for our housing initiative. All you have to do is click HERE and make a donation in any amount of your choosing.

With your support, women at The House who are interested will have the opportunity to apply to rent to own one of the houses. Securing these homes helps to stabilize their lives and further stabilize the Orange Mound community. Enthusiastically with prayer and assurance, a community with front porch hospitality will soon be a reality. Several of the ladies of My Cup of Tea are more than ready to rock on their own front porches on our block.

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Steering Wheel or Spare Tire?

Steering Wheel or Spare Tire?

“Marketing” and “Development” are corporate words for saying I sell tea and raise money to support the work at My Cup of Tea. Because we are bursting at the seams at The House with packaging and shipping activities, my work is primarily performed from my home office. But about once per week, I have the privilege of driving into Orange Mound and engaging with the ladies of My Cup of Tea.

At a recent meeting at The House, we were steadily ticking off the items on our agenda when we were unexpectedly interrupted. One of the employees came through the door at her normal time, but not for the purpose of work. She held the arm of her brother who gingerly shuffled across the hardwood floor trembling with each step. Several of the women stopped what they were doing, and the employee said,

“I brought my brother here today because he needs prayer. Will y’all pray for him now?”

Without hesitation, the women gathered in the main room where Rick and Carey Moore, My Cup of Tea’s founders, Debbie, our operations manager, and I were meeting. They didn’t ask if they could gather there when we had finished. They didn’t ask that we excuse the intrusion, nor should they have asked. Their matter was an urgent one that far outranked anything we were discussing. They invited us to join them in prayer, but none of us was asked to lead the prayer. The women had it covered.

We learned that this sick man, not really very old, had suffered from a stroke and previously spent months in the hospital recovering. He had been allowed to come home to his sister’s care, though he could do little for himself and had difficulty speaking. The stroke and the ensuing battle to recover was known among the women, and they had prayed for this man’s recovery for a long time, but this day was different.

He was there in person asking for prayer from people he didn’t know very well, but whom he had been told would pray for him. The specific request was that he would receive the financial support he needed to pay for his basic living and medical expenses since obviously he was disabled and not capable of working. His benefits had become the victim of government “red tape” and though he couldn’t verbally articulate it, the desperation was evident in his eyes.

His sister seated him at the head of the long, varnished table. I kept my seat, but the women encircled him and those that were able placed a hand on his shoulders or back. Someone asked Diane to lead the prayer, and boy did she. She spoke directly and reverently to God. Her words were filled with passion and genuine faith that God would answer. And after each entreaty, the women’s chorus would exclaim, “Yes, Lord,” “Please Lord,” and “Amen.”

After several minutes the prayer concluded. I felt tired, but relieved, as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders though the burden prayed for was not even mine. The man’s countenance had changed, too. He smiled, thanked the ladies as best as he could, and gratefulness, not desperation was the message in his eyes.

I don’t know how God has answered or is continuing to answer that prayer, but I have thought about the prayer and the experience often. Praying together and studying the Bible are strictly voluntary at My Cup of Tea. There is no requirement to share the same beliefs to work there, and no one is judged who opts out, though there is a standing invitation.

But there is one thing you can’t opt out of – being prayed for.

The women of My Cup of Tea pray regularly, fervently, and live by the command in Galatians 6:2 to “bear one another’s burdens.” They don’t have to know your burdens because they know that God knows them. They pray for each other, for our volunteers, and for a restoration of their community.

Corrie Ten Boom, the Dutch, Christian author famously asked, "Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?" The women of My Cup Tea have both hands on the wheel.

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Healing in Lament

Healing in Lament

         The genesis of the Japanese Kintsugi Art genre was over 600 years ago. In the repair of a broken vessel, gold is applied, and the original becomes of more value.  Briefly, I recognized the courage of our ladies and their similarities to Kintsugi and their “beauty from ashes” stories in our April Newsletter. The traumatic events in the lives of our ladies have not wounded them beyond repair as one might think. Pain and brokenness are common to humans.  In most cases, our heartaches are born from inevitable loss, poor choices, or tragedy. In the life stories of the My Cup of Tea ladies, those are also familiar, but other traumas include rape, incest, murder, shootings, domestic violence, and assaults.

         Counseling and therapy are luxuries even among the privileged. Most times, professional guidance is too expensive and illusive for the majority of our employees who live in our often dangerous neighborhood of Orange Mound. Not as a substitute for professional mental health treatment, but as a salve for some of the pain the ladies cope with daily, I was hopeful, but ill-equipped to offer a type of Kintsugi to our ladies at the tea company. I delayed, and my procrastination and the tyranny of addressing immediate needs proved providentially a blessing. The delays allowed me to identify Tracy Sigmon Shipman, a treasured friend, who had studied Kintsugi, designed several repairs, and  was eager to share her experience.
As she meditated over 6 weeks of prayer and preparation, I stirred some interest among several of our ladies and challenged them to sign up for her visits.

         Last week 5 MCOT ladies timidly stepped across the line of caution, shame, and privacy and introduced themselves to Tracy. She was equipped with tools, tips, time, and tenderness. There was a trust factor necessary for them to individually unveil the covered past and pain.

         Step 1 for them was to choose a beautiful plate, and it was easily accomplished. On the table, clean and flawless, 5 plates were placed in front of trembling hands holding a ball hammer. The first encounters of hammer to plate were gentle taps until Tracy said “harder, hit them with force,” and all the plates fractured. Tracy explained that the point on the plate of hardest assault would spider out in many connected wounds on the plate.  The significance was obvious.

         Step 2 was the methodical replacement of one piece joining the one situated next to it, slowly.  The ladies mixed epoxy glue, and with feather strokes of a brush loaded with glue, built back in order the damaged pieces. They moved too fast, the glue didn’t hold, and all plates either collapsed or released major and minor fragments.  Life parallels our need to repair plates, and our lives too quickly. The dialogue at the table was original and transformative.


         Step 3 was the strategic and delicate sanding and buffing of the hardened glue.  The plate was once again intact, sort of, and the cracks were hardened, but harsh. What a picture of all of us that is. One of the ladies paused, tears pooled, and said “this is a very spiritual experience for me”.  All nodded. A bond among the ladies was evidently growing, and Tracy continued to soothe us with Scriptures from the Psalter. Lament is the subject of 1/3 of the Psalms and was in rich supply throughout the workshop week. Tracy spoke truth and hope with love.

         In Step 4 they were each handed a tool to push powdered gold into the cracks. This required a surgeon’s touch but brought the burnished cracks to their illumining gloss.  Carefully and with reflection, each of the ladies began to share the story of her plate.

 “These 5 cracks, I have covered in gold are my 5 children.  This one stubborn piece at the top is my son.  He has resisted my discipline, broken my rules too many times, and caused me anger, shame, and hopelessness.  I am not going to let up or let go”.  She continued by asking us to continue to support her in her pursuit for what is best for him. “This plate story is a promise to me that he is God’s child, and He will see me through it and my son will grow to be a righteous man of God.  Amen.”

           Another woman, one of our newest employees uncovered her wounds of late in her plate’s story of her life.  “I have lost 3 precious family members to death in 4 months.”  With a choking voice, she continued,” there are 3 major cracks all joined to a small dime-sized hole here in the middle. That hole is my broken heart. It requires extra glue filler, and the gold that covers it is more obvious.” She allowed us into her story to help her repair her grieving heart and assist in carrying the shadows of frustrated loss.

         Soon their 5 plates will be displayed, and in the presentation to the co-workers, each of the first 5 will tell their plate parable. I hope all of our employees will want to participate in the profound experience that a burden shared is ½ the load. Joy comes in time and is quickened in community. A leap of faith in opening our wounds of complaint to trusted companions has begun in the beautiful activity of Kintsugi on the corner of Semmes and Carnes. We lament to find the hope of recovery and trust.

         Grief abounds, but grace abounds all the more. Lament is pain in prayer that leads to trust. Though we live in a world broken by sin, lament invites us to take our pain to trusted companions and our Savior. Our path reaffirms the process that we are more valuable because of not in spite of our sorrows and grief. We have 15 beautiful women who are growing, giving, and glowing in the Refiner’s grasp and His loving application of pure gold.


 Amen and amen.

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Let's All Blend In

Let's All Blend In

     From the beginning, we have taken pride in the fact that the tea we sell comes from some of the world’s best blenders with the expertise to concoct almost any flavor imaginable. The perfect cup of tea comes together when all the ingredients are blended expertly -- premium teas, organic fruit and nut pieces, carefully dried herbs and natural flavorings.

     At My Cup of Tea, we’ve learned that the ingredients to help women escape poverty are many, too. We provide jobs, training, mentors, and authentic relationships. When women need help beyond our expertise, we refer them to the clinicians and technicians who can help, and we often pay the bill. We by battle food insecurity by providing lunches daily and vegetable gardens for those who want them. We strive to impart knowledge about important aspects of living that are "common knowledge" to the resourced, but often new information for the low-income who have rarely left their neighborhoods.

     We have also learned that the blending of these ingredients is not the same for everyone. Metaphorically, everyone is seeking that “perfect cup of tea,” but the specific ingredients can be different from woman to woman. For instance, literacy among the women ranges from around college level to no better than sixth or seventh grade. Struggles with physical and mental health vary widely. Some have a strong grasp of managing a personal budget, while others come up short almost every month.

     While the blend may be different for each woman, the common ingredient is The House. The House is where they work, learn, eat, study, and pray. The impetus for coming to The House is to do their jobs preparing tea to sell to our customers across the country. Then we make time and prioritize the other needs while they are there.

     We must sell a lot of tea to have sufficient work for the women to do. Tea sales have grown by more than 30% per year since 2019, and we now have customers in 48 states. Yet, it might surprise customers and supporters to learn that about 65% of the revenue at My Cup of Tea comes from donations – donations from foundations, corporations, local government, and individuals. We could not support the operation without these funds, but most of the funding is only for one-year. So each year, we are seeking new funding to replace the previous year’s grants and donations. For long-term stability, My Cup of Tea needs a base of sustaining donors.

     That is why we invite you to join The Blend – a new network of monthly donors supporting My Cup of Tea. For as little as $10 per month, members of The Blend will play a vital role in sustaining our work and keeping hope alive for the women of Orange Mound. At any level of giving, every member will receive a members-only T-shirt and access to deals and discounts before the general public. At higher levels giving, members will be eligible for additional exclusive gifts and opportunities.

     To join or to learn more, visit The Blend page and please consider becoming a founding member.

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Graduating to Your Purpose

Graduating to Your Purpose

           This is the Graduation Season. Many of us have shared the exuberance of a race to the finish of a life assignment and then slowed to a walk and then to a stutter step with the next task less clear.  As we matriculate along the path, our parents have coached us, but now the comfy nest and free room and board are history. Into the wild blue yonder we are told to go. “Equipped,” they say. “You have all you need for the next chapter.”

            I never felt equipped to lead a mission into Orange Mound. Yet, I knew and now experience daily, the assurance that she whom God calls, He equips.

            God has used every aspect of who I am and where I came from to bring about the purpose He has for me. He factored in my background, level of education, parenting role of 5 children, and everything from my life experiences in teaching, short term mission work, domestic interests, my Spiritual gift, and many of my friends.

            As with the young men and women among us who are graduating, He led me into new territory.  Once committed, I was surrounded by unfamiliar faces who have since the beginning, taught me lessons I could have learned no other way.   At first, I thought I had read all of the right books and heard the orations of how to build a bridge to a different culture and socioeconomic community. I was confident the Lord was shepherding me and believed He would use my knowledge and reward my eagerness.  I can now look back over the last 10 years and gasp at my naivete, blunders, and how little I knew. Now, I am ever more grateful for how faithful He has been to override my mistakes with His grace.  He has led skilled and gifted men and women to walk with me.  He has brought lovely and courageous women to work with me in the tea company.  He has broadened our reach and strengthened our grasp of His mission on the corner of a busy street in a neighborhood to which I am now devoted.

            As for you, He is at work as well. He will get you to exactly where you need to be. As He did for Paul the Apostle, Daniel the Prophet, Esther the Queen, Deborah the Judge, Mary, the Mother of Jesus, and countless more.  And it’s worth remembering that none of these “Biblical heroes and heroines” were powerful or influential people of their day.

           What He continues to do for the ladies of Orange Mound, He will do again. He will use your background, your education, your past, and everything you have accumulated.  He will lead you to places with strange sounding names and unfamiliar faces.  His face, however, will be more visible than ever before. His voice will be more audible, and His presence will be worth it all.

            Don’t dare miss your opportunity to trust His path for your purpose in His Kingdom. He promises all of the equipment and equippers you will need to step forward. He will do the work and give you the diploma.
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Casseroles for the Bereaved. Secret Santa for the Poor.

Casseroles for the Bereaved. Secret Santa for the Poor.

     When someone dies in the South, Southerners know exactly what to do.

     Make a casserole.

     In fact, as we age and experience death more frequently, we keep at least two in the freezer at all times.

     While our motive to comfort is authentic, does the bereaved person really need or want a casserole? Maybe instead she needs someone to clean the kitchen mess created by the food that was delivered; or to take her kids to play, so she can have time to grieve alone.

     For many, caring for the poor follows a similar pattern. At Christmas, we solicit toy donations for delivery by a secret Santa. We fill red plastic tubs with “needs” provided by anonymous organizers at church. What if a mother desires the dignity of purchasing the gifts for her children, but can’t because the family car needs a repair? What if we paid to repair the care, so she can buy those gifts?

     These are the kinds of lessons that are hard to learn when our hearts are in the right place. But they are lessons we must heed if we genuinely desire to alleviate poverty.

     When Carey and Rick Moore founded My Cup of Tea, it was because the overt needs in the community were jobs. They purchased the tea company and began hiring women from Orange Mound to package and sell tea. It didn’t take very long, though, before they began to discover a seemingly bottomless pit of unspoken needs not being met.

     Steve Corbett, co-author of the best-seller, When Helping Hurts says this:

     “If we reduce human beings to being simply physical—as Western thought is prone to do—our poverty-alleviation efforts will tend to focus on material solutions. But if we remember that humans are spiritual, social, psychological, and physical beings, our poverty-alleviation efforts will be more holistic in their design and execution.”

     At My Cup of Tea, we strive to be more holistic, but by “holistic” we don’t mean every unmet need is being fulfilled. Instead, we are intentional about considering the spiritual, social, and psychological as well as the physical. We are continuing to employ new approaches to discovering how we can assist Orange Mound women in the ways they need and want.

     Every spring, we survey our customers to understand how we can improve. While gathering that data, we also survey our employees. The surveys are anonymous and administered by a third-party. No one in leadership or management knows how anyone answers, and co-workers only know if they share with one another. The typical questions about job satisfaction and process improvement are part of the drill. But we also dig deeper. We ask if the ladies have unmet needs My Cup of Tea can address. We probe to learn what more My Cup of Tea could do to support them in their neighborhoods. And we ask them how we are failing to meet our mission and what we can do differently.

     Truthfully, the first time we asked, everyone said all their needs were met, and all answered My Cup of Tea was doing everything right. We know this is not true. Over time as we continued to ask and listen, desires and concerns have surfaced. We have taken steps to engage in the places they have identified both for their benefit and to solidify trust.

     Later this year, we will formalize the mentoring that has been occurring informally for a few years, now. These Orange Mound women are volunteering to be matched with women volunteers with whom they have developed a relationship or with whom they share multiple common interests. A primary goal is understanding – understanding struggles and obstacles the ladies face and how they would desire, or even if they desire, for someone to intervene.

     And we continue to pray together. Prayer happens daily at the House. Sometimes in a large group or a small group, and other times one-on-one spontaneously. When an employee feels safe and unjudged, she shares the circumstance for which she desires prayer, and that opens the door to conversation – the kind of conversation where she talks and we listen.

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Kintsugi: Embracing the Damage

Kintsugi: Embracing the Damage

  Kintsugi is an ancient and venerated Japanese tradition of mending and restoring broken porcelain with lacquer and powdered gold. Dated as early as the 15th Century, the unique method celebrates a vessel’s worn usage and fractures with applications of gold.  Rather than lamenting the loss, grieving the fractures, and discarding a special vessel, the artist gingerly holds and mends the pieces with a brush dipped in gold resin.  The object of attention becomes even more valuable to the owner than the original. The infinitesimal delicacy of the process gently brings beauty as it restores and redeems. The cherished treasure takes on character and unique beauty. The old-made-new vessel demands a high price but is rarely sold.

     In timeless design, we are each unique and eternally valuable. Created in God’s Image, our purpose is to live joyfully for His glory within community. Tragically and all too often through neglect, abuse, assault, and trauma, we break and shut down. Our default mode is to paste over our fractures in unhealthy ways, but never truly repair them. We often sink into despair, self-loathing, depression, anger, and loneliness. Research over the last 25 years has given scientists a new understanding of the resilience of our brains, and with it comes greater hope for healing with the help of therapy and better skilled mental health professionals.

     Refugees fleeing war zones are much on our minds now in 2022.  Our desire to aid them in some way has been heightened, and our compassion is palatable. My Cup of Tea has recently hired a refugee from Sudan, and our city awaits women who will eventually arrive from the war zones of Ukraine.  

     We in Orange Mound realize that we have had a mission field in our midst. Though not fleeing a Russian invasion, most of the women at My Cup of Tea are represented by the harsh statistics of those who have been treated inhumanely by family, neighbors, and strangers. Author and psychologist, Curt Thompson, MD writes in The Soul of Shame, and The Soul of Desire, that to be mentally physiologically healthy, we must be seen, safe, soothed, and secure.    Psychotherapy is not readily available or affordable in marginalized communities.  A supportive community must support the work of compassion and healing. Healing can begin when we are among friends who listen, empathize, embrace, and don’t judge us.  The courageous ladies of Orange Mound know they are seen at The House. They are safe within our fortress of prayer, and they are soothed by the salve of genuine friendships. The assurance of job security with us is unmatched by alternative work experiences in our neighborhood.  A trusted circle of sisters can do God-authored wonders.  There is no waiting room here because God’s golden repairs of the memory of the painful past are daily prescribed through grace, prayer, and being heard within the walls of The House.  He uses the trusted relationships and treasured confidences among our volunteers to redeem and restore.  Kintsugi is underway.  Sisters at My Cup of Tea are the tools, the brush, and the Spirit of God is the artist. Friendship cures the gold leaf applied to the wounds of our friends who have buried their sadness and feel alone in their burdens.

     Harm’s way is a commonly traveled pathway in Orange Mound.   The “exit ramp” is not well marked in poverty and the road is littered with shards and cracked porcelain vessels. Our mission is to be agents of God’s redemption. The beauty and elegance of a life valued, because of and not in spite of the fractures, renews and emboldens us to participate in the mission of Jesus. His call was and remains to find those who know they are broken, need repair, and feel overwhelmed and undervalued. He is saving and brushing gold where we are fractured.  He is healing us with His love and Words of Promise. Our own Kintsugi application is taught daily in the Gospel of Christ. In Him we are permanently seen, safe, soothed, secure AND restored.

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We're Hearing Voices

We're Hearing Voices

In the Dark Knight, the sequel to Batman Begins, the late Heath Ledger plays the Joker, arguably Batman’s most well-known nemesis. By most accounts, Ledger steals the show with his portrayal of the deeply disturbed villain and gifts moviegoers a slate of memorable quotes like this one:

“I know the voices in my head aren’t real, but sometimes their ideas are absolutely awesome.”

Sometimes the voices in our heads lead us to ideas and conclusions that aren’t so awesome. Those “voices” are shaped by our own experiences and influences. For example, if a person was raised in a rural community and traveled infrequently, she might have some preconceived notions about what living in a city is like, the way people who live there act, and what things are important to them. It’s natural. But our notions become problematic when we are convinced of their validity based on our own disparate experience.

Since the beginning of My Cup of Tea, we have prioritized ensuring that the voices of the women we serve are heard, valued, and heeded. Admittedly, we have succeeded at times and failed at others, but we continue to seek meaningful ways to amplifying their voices.

Most recently, we made some adjustments to the content of our YouTube series, She Steeps. To date, we have produced twenty-one episodes hosted by several different My Cup of Tea women. Most of the content has been focused on tea – how to properly steeps it, health benefits of drinking it, its history, and so on. The videos are interesting and informative but have been lacking in one critical element – an authentic voice.

So, we brought together a group of the women in a roundtable setting to discuss weightier issues than whether one should drink tea with their pinky up or down. Moderated by volunteer Shelley Hill, the women have taken on the topics of Martin Luther King, Jr – His Legacy and How We Should Honor It; Black History Month – Should We Celebrate It; and Does Memphis Have a Crime Problem and What are the Solutions.

We learned that the women thought Dr. King’s legacy was important and should be honored, but there was disagreement as to how it should be honored. Each had a different memory of how parents and grandparents instilled in them the messages of Dr. King and how it had impacted their lives.

All agreed that Black History should be celebrated and taught, but each had a different thought about how. One suggested that all cultures should have a month, week, or day and be celebrated. Each one was proud to be of African descent, but also proud to be an American.

And on the issue of crime in our community, each one has been personally affected, but they disagreed about whether crime is worse in Memphis than any other city.

There is much we can and have learned from the My Cup of Tea women. One is that the opinions of Black women are not monolithic despite what surveys and political polls might tell you. Another is that struggle and poverty do not equate to simplemindedness, but often incubates empathy and wisdom.

As we endeavor to hear and share the voices of the My Cup of Tea women, it is essential that we mute our own voices. Like our mothers and teachers used to tell us, “You can’t listen if you’re talking,” especially if you are only talking to yourself.

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The Honorable Word

The Honorable Word

     Recently a Tennessee politician posted to his Twitter account that our country needed to,

     “…return working families to honorable jobs rather than another government program.”

     At first blush, it may seem like a reasonable statement. Certainly, most people want a good paying job to care for their families. They would prefer to rely on their hard work, ingenuity, and creativity to make the ends meet than to receive government support.

     But on a closer look, it is one word that makes all the difference in the meaning of this statement.

     “Honorable.”

     When put before the word “jobs” and no synonym is placed in front of “government,” the implication is clear. The author believes (and he’s not alone) that receiving support from the government is dishonorable.

     In nearly seven years of working in the Orange Mound community, we’ve learned at least two important things:

  1. Most of the poor residents we encounter are decent and honorable people, but because of a series of mistakes – some they must own and others not their fault – found themselves destitute with nowhere else to turn but to their government.

 

  1. The assumptions we often make about people who look and live differently than we are almost always wrong.

 

     Just within the walls of The House, we have witnessed the complex and multi-layered struggles of women striving for economic self-sufficiency.

     A month ago, one woman nearing retirement age had to reduce her hours. Why? She has an incurable disease that makes it hard to walk, sit, or, stand for long periods of time. This qualifies her to receive a modest disability payment from the federal government. The Social Security Administration told her she was making too much money working at My Cup of Tea and was in danger of losing her disability. Losing that support and then being forced to retire because of her illness or age would leave her unable to pay the basic expenses necessary to survive.

     Another woman, fought to overcome drug addiction and won after twenty-five years. She had an adequate job and a house. She was “turning the corner.” Six years ago, in the same month, she lost that job, and her special needs granddaughter came to live with her full time. She too is nearing retirement age and while My Cup of Tea had a job for her, until we grow more that job can only be part-time, so the aid she receives from Uncle Sam is necessary to care for her grandchild.

     We could tell similar stories for every woman who has worked at My Cup of Tea. But economic self-sufficiency is about more than just having an “honorable” job. Knowledge about how the world works is a scarce resource among many poor people. Knowledge many of us take for granted like how to look for a job, how to write a resume, or where to find access to a computer to write that resume is rare among the poverty stricken.

     Most of us when we search for a job leverage our networks. We talk to friends, family, and acquaintances. We often expand our search to all areas of the city, state, or region. We use job search apps and social media to connect with that college sorority sister who could put in a good word. And we rely on our work history to show we have the experience to do the job.

     Generally, poor people don’t have a network. If they do, it’s limited to a small geographic area where they currently live or were raised. Most of the poor lack significant work history to demonstrate employability. It’s not that they aren’t willing or capable of learning, but they can’t demonstrate past exposure to the tasks or skills necessary to do the job for which they are applying.

     Based on anecdotes from our neighbors in Orange Mound, it is likely that a high percentage of residents have never seen the Mississippi River or walked into a Starbucks, much less accessed the tools and people in any meaningful way necessary to find quality employment. Lack of exposure to the things we take for granted leads to a dearth of knowledge and the resources critical to becoming more economically self-reliant. Accepting government support is not the desire of most, but the necessity.

     At My Cup of Tea, we have long proclaimed the dignity of work, and our mission includes economic self-sufficiency for the women we serve. We’re working to provide the knowledge and resources necessary to thrive and reduce reliance on government support. But we also know that struggling financially, even for many years, and needing help to feed, clothe, and shelter your family is not dishonorable.

 “The righteous man knows the rights of the poor. A wicked man does not understand such knowledge.” - Psalm 29:7

                                                                                                                          

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When Ice Melts Hard Hearts

When Ice Melts Hard Hearts

     Many homeowners in Shelby County staved off the brutally cold temperatures earlier this month, without power.  Muscle memory failed us with our wall switches. Uninspired meals using thawing meat, and warming dairy will not be missed, and all of us were earlier to bed without TV.  Body awareness peaked with no hot water for shaving or bathing.  The common response from the tens of thousands inconvenienced was “this has got to end soon!”

     My good friend, Dwayne Jones, has had a keen awareness that what we experienced acutely with harsh weather conditions is the chronic reality of the unhoused in our city. We sheltered in place, read by flashlight and warmed with layering and log burning.

     Meanwhile the short days of winter offered familiar long dark cold nights for the houseless. Charging a cell phone is a non-starter for them. A warm meal is barely recalled, and a hot shower is not a priority as it is rarely a possibility.  Most are not searching for a home but are looking for shelter from the rain and cold.  Dwayne has designed 5 very tiny apartments in a storage container and equipped them with a common generator and a portable potty outside.  He is as creative as he is compassionate and knows he can be part of the solution to the needs of those who are unfazed by grounded power lines on our sidewalks and broken tree limbs in our yards. Mr. Jones has fully stepped into the problem and has plans to build more of his temporary shelters.

     Dwayne’s passion and knowledge of the urgent need for shelter has put him at odds with land use and zoning requirements of the city. But as he told the Commercial Appeal,

 

“I don’t have six, eight months to go through all that. People are out here freezing to death, and right now, we’re in a crisis situation…people who are sitting up in cushy homes, they don’t care…

Now, I believe in rules. But sometimes, the rules don’t make moral sense.”

 

     As I was telling Dwayne’s story to our ladies, showing them the newspaper article, and lamenting the growing needs, one of our employees said, “That looks really good. How can I qualify to live in one?”  She has been living with relatives and will soon be turned out. She sleeps on the floor in a house without heat and is almost homeless herself. I assured her we will help her relocate, but it will be accomplished through prayer for God’s merciful guidance.

     Britney Thornton, founder of JUICE Orange Mound, opened a warming center that was recently shut down by Code Enforcement because it ran afoul of safety and zoning requirements.  She and Jones are co-laboring for those who have called O M their neighborhood but hold no stake in a mortgage or rent.  Their hope is to achieve home safety and modest creature comfort for the tormented and vulnerable men and women created in God’s image and lost in The City of the Blues.    

     The unhoused and soon-to-be unhoused are in residence here on curbs and benches, and cold floorboards.  A neighborhood like ours doesn’t get to choose its neighbor or ignore the responsibility to love them.

      I am blessed in watching our ladies provide food, water, and prayer for any in need who walk past our porch. They know that Orange Mound is not our real home, and what we do for the least is the same as doing it for Jesus.

     The Lord multiplies the efforts of Jones and Thornton and our MCOT employees. They feel they have been given much and are able to share from their abundance.  The abundance can be weighed on a scale of their heavy hearts for the broken lives and measured in the number of raised hands to volunteer to help them. They are teaching me to see the “invisible” people in our midst, hear their silent groans, touch the wounds of the untouchables, and ignore the pungent air that they breathe.

     Nine years ago, we thought we were bringing the knowledge of Jesus to OM, but now I have discovered Jesus has already been here and homeless since OM began. It was here Orange Mound’s “Founding Fathers and Mothers” built their first homes for their homeless families and erected 6 churches in which to worship Him.

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