Our mission is to walk with women beyond the boundaries of poverty and neglect and assist them in finding their purpose.

A Southern, mature woman, by tradition, is to be wise, kind, nurturing, informed, and a builder of her home.  Adults modeled and taught me these values in my formative years and placed me where I could absorb them. Once grown, my cultural community added objectives to the mix: women’s Bible studies, flower arranging, cooking classes, sewing clubs, smocking lessons, bridge lessons, travel, mission trips, garden clubs, Pilates, book clubs, and carpool line etiquette.

With these in mind, and overly confident, 14 years ago, I purposed with friends to share our avocations and hobbies with women who were underexposed to these domestic conventions. I set up shop in Orange Mound to supplement and resource women in poverty. Knowing without any hesitation or doubt that I was clearly called to women in Orange Mound, I concluded they were eagerly waiting for me and in search of manicures, massages, Bible hermeneutics, homemaking skills, and the like. I was sure that these would provide stability, dignity, confidence, relaxation, and friendships. 

Instead, every woman I met here was in search of safety, food, and shelter.

Stunned, I soon sensed my bundle of “perks” was of little consequence in the real world of Orange Mound. Most of my new friends were unchurched, unmotivated, untraveled, uninspired, and unhealthy. Current events were not on their radar, and learning to cook with “EVOO” or do yoga was not in their top 100 survival skills.  The vast majority had no dentists, doctors, or therapists, and husbands were absent. Their collective ambition was to live through the night without injury and through the week with functioning utilities.

 I had arrived in an “escape room” without any clues. I didn’t know what I didn’t know. Shamefully blind and sugarcoating reality, I had never considered that what I was offering free of charge was of no real help to the women I met.  My “Plan A” on how to live life more abundantly was annoying, subjective, and irrelevant. The many volunteers who had come to join in the mission felt unappreciated and frustrated.

Daily, I pondered why God says over 400 times in Scripture to care for the poor. We will always have them with us, (Mark14:7). Showing mercy to the poor is in effect ministering to Jesus (Matthew 25:35-40). Shutting your eyes to the poor brings judgement (Proverbs 28:27). And the sin of Sodom, which is the most convicting of all: “the women were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and the needy “(Ezekiel16:49).

Refining, resourcing, and revitalization of neighborhoods are popular projects, but we were among women stuck at the survival stage of life. We resolved that our single charge and highest priority was to disciple in Truth all who arrived in earnest to work at the tea company.  

God calls all believers in His family to go to the unreached, and the women in Orange Mound were two miles from our church but a world away. The joy and freedom of living are immeasurably dependent on our relationship to the Lord and His Truth in the Gospel. We had to come alongside them to give Biblical counsel, principles, and encouragement through meeting basic needs most take for granted.

We knew that if they were willing to listen, through the power of the Holy Spirit, He could reverse the pattern of dependency on the tyranny of the urgent, government assistance, and the false narrative that all they would ever be is hopeless. Dependence on God in reverence and obedience would change lives, change families, and change neighborhoods.

Red Zone, Kingdom Community Builders, Neighborhood Christian Center , Orange  Mound Outreach and My Cup of Tea are collectively punctuating the promises of the Lord in our community. Helping hundreds of Orange Mound residents awaken to opportunities available for success are underway.  Discipling a few persons to whole devotion to the Lord, is a priority now.

Yesterday, I went off script in our weekly Bible study of Colossians and teased out contemplative points of faith and salvation.  The ladies were scanning the first chapter of the epistle to answer me.  “The answer is not in this chapter”, I whispered.  The discussion amped up, and those willing to participate offered irrefutable and valuable insights. They were not only correct, but they were feeling the Truth of God’s gift of Jesus personally. They used their own words, and not ours.

In the last week of April, several changed lives are finding new purpose and grasping why they are here, which is to know God and enjoy Him.

The seeds planted for over a decade have taken root and born fruit.  A change for the better has begun, and we have been changed for good. Pilates can wait.

In 1983, then Governor Lamar Alexander announced in his second inaugural address that Tennessee would host an old-fashioned homecoming in 1986 throughout the entire year and across the state. Tennessee’s Homecoming was billed as part hoe-down, part history lesson, and part celebration. Communities were invited to host official events, embark on improvement projects, and preserve their histories for future generations. Former Tennesseans were urged to come back home if not for good, then at least for a visit.

As a teenager, I remember the energy and excitement in my hometown. My grandmother, the county historian was neck deep in the planning and implementation of our community’s celebration – a community that was once home to David Crockett and the birthplace of Southern gospel music. It was such a unifying time in our history that my grandmother a “yellow dog,” FDR Democrat actually had a few nice things to say about our Republican governor. But it was also a time for reflection and gratitude for where we had been, where we were, and where we hoped to go.

Recently, we had a homecoming of our own at My Cup of Tea. We welcomed back Diane to our fold. (No one ever really leaves the fold, but Diane took a break from work at The House, and now she has returned to regular engagement.) We couldn’t be happier.

If you have followed us for a while, either through this blog or via social media, you may remember Diane. We have told Diane's inspiring story and been blessed by her faith and her talents.

Diane told us in an interview several years ago that she always wanted to be a nurse, but she married young and grappled with a drug addiction. After fighting through recovery with God’s help, she shares her story with other women facing similar challenges.

                “I’ve learned to blossom, embrace life, and trust in God,” she told us back then. “I used to never like to smile, and now I smile all the time.”

Diane’s role at My Cup of Tea is the same as when she left - interviewing applicants, teaching our soft skills curriculum, on-boarding new employees, and serving as a gentle, relatable, and empathetic counselor.

                “When they come in broken, I share that I’ve been broken too. Watching the ladies enter and remain a part is like planting flowers. Some are wilted, others are lifeless, but upon pruning, watering, and fertilizing, beauty is revived,” she said.

Just as when any of the ladies leave My Cup of Tea, Diane’s absence has been felt. Even if the reason for leaving is good news, we miss our sisters in the same way a parent misses an adult child who leaves for college or moves to a new city to start a life. You expect, or at least hope, to see them again, but the “loss” is still profound.

In Diane’s case, the reason for leaving wasn’t good news. She had not one, but two brothers who were seriously ill and needed her care. Reminiscent of Ruth in Scripture when Boaz says, “the whole town knows that you are a woman of strength and character,” (Ruth 3:11) no one was surprised that she would take leave to be caretaker for her brothers.

Diane joined My Cup of Tea in 2016, only 3 years after the tiny seeds of this garden were planted. We have a lot of history with Diane. Like any respectable homecoming, we celebrate with reflection and gratitude on all of that history, on the good she is bringing to our lives today, and on all we can accomplish with her and through her in the future.

Welcome home, Diane.

‘The main reason I stay at My Cup of Tea is because I love the sisterhood – encouraging one another, helping one another. I can’t think of a better place than My Cup of Tea to do that.”

                                                                                                             -Diane

In 1977, a Stanford University psychologist studying group dynamics, Albert Bandura, found that groups whose members were confident in the group’s abilities or likelihood of success were in fact more successful.

Duh.

This sounds a lot like what we have all been told by parents, teachers, coaches, and influential adults. “Have some self-confidence and you’ll do great,” or something to that effect. But there is more to it.

Bandura named this observation “collective efficacy.” Collective Efficacy Theory has since been applied across numerous disciplines including education, corporations, and criminal justice.

In a landmark study in 1997 led by Robert Sampson, a Harvard professor and past president of the American Society of Criminology, Sampson studied the impact of collective efficacy on reducing crime. What he found is that neighborhoods with a high crime rate and a low level of cooperation with law enforcement had little to no collective efficacy. Said a different way, neighbors did not believe that working together they could make a difference in their communities. But why?

For collective efficacy to form there must be social cohesion. Social cohesion involves having shared values and norms, social and institutional trust, a sense of belonging, cooperation, and equality and inclusion. When these pillars exist in a group, a business, or a neighborhood, they produce confidence among the group members that together the group can be impactful.

This is what we believe we have accomplished at My Cup of Tea, though the work must be ongoing and nurtured. Perhaps more importantly, collective efficacy is what we desire for Orange Mound, and the community is ripe to achieve it.

Factors that promote social cohesion

There are some basic elements of social cohesion that Orange Mound currently possesses or had in the past that it is capable of realizing in the future. They are:

·         High level of home ownership – Orange Mound has a previous history of home ownership that has waned. Today, home ownership is less than 50%, but still higher than many zip codes in Memphis and there is a legacy to build on. Others believe this too, as evidenced by the new home construction happening.

·         A core of stable, long-term residents – Mary Mitchell, the matriarch of Orange Mound and keeper of its history comes to mind. Among the My Cup of Tea ladies, Cheryl was raised here, left, and moved back. Bretta wasn’t raised in Orange Mound but has lived here for decades. It is true that many exited when crime rose, but there are still deep roots.

·         The presence of extended families – Some have extended families still in the neighborhood, but more high-quality housing options can help nurture that dynamic.

·         Close friendships among neighbors – This is difficult in every community in this age of communicating digitally and avoiding direct contact with other humans. However, our Neighborhood Watch, plans for a farmers’ market, and the intentionality of nonprofits JUICE Orange Mound and Red Zone Ministries to build relationships block by block are critical pieces of the puzzle. Also, the rich history surrounding Melrose High School and the connection people feel to it is another leveraging point.

·         Good schools – The schools within the Orange Mound zip codes are graded D or F on the state’s report card. Primarily this means that the vast majority of students are not reading or doing math on their grade level. But, Arise to Read, volunteers from My Cup of Tea, and others for Second Presbyterian Church are tutoring at Hanley Elementary.

·         People who attend local centers of worship – There are churches in Orange Mound that have been long-time anchors like Beulah Baptist Church, Mt. Moriah Baptist, and Mt. Pisgah CME. It has been our experience that many of the parishioners of these churches live outside of the neighborhood and those churchgoers in the community attend church outside of the 38111 or 38114 zip codes. There is much more work to do.

·         The use of amenities such as parks, recreation centers, and libraries – The Orange Mound Community Center has long been a gathering place for residents, Red Zone Ministries is providing a gathering spot with various opportunities for youth 9-18. There was a time when Orange Mound had one of the best parks in the city complete with an impressive swimming pool.

There are both historic and tangible building blocks in Orange Mound to attain social cohesion again, but it will take time and effort. The good news is that community efficacy at some level is not dependent on achieving the maximum level possible of social cohesion. What does that mean?

The small group that gathers on our porch to plan and implement our Neighborhood Watch can help lower crime on our block. That’s a start. To substantially lower the crime rate across the entire neighborhood requires more “true believers” who will join the movement as homeownership increases, schools get a little better, and they make friends with a few neighbors.

It means a small group of “true believers,” like our family at My Cup of Tea, who have confidence in our abilities, trust in one another, and by the grace of God can make a difference.