Our mission is to walk with women beyond the boundaries of poverty and neglect and assist them in finding their purpose.

In 1983, then Governor Lamar Alexander announced in his second inaugural address that Tennessee would host an old-fashioned homecoming in 1986 throughout the entire year and across the state. Tennessee’s Homecoming was billed as part hoe-down, part history lesson, and part celebration. Communities were invited to host official events, embark on improvement projects, and preserve their histories for future generations. Former Tennesseans were urged to come back home if not for good, then at least for a visit.

As a teenager, I remember the energy and excitement in my hometown. My grandmother, the county historian was neck deep in the planning and implementation of our community’s celebration – a community that was once home to David Crockett and the birthplace of Southern gospel music. It was such a unifying time in our history that my grandmother a “yellow dog,” FDR Democrat actually had a few nice things to say about our Republican governor. But it was also a time for reflection and gratitude for where we had been, where we were, and where we hoped to go.

Recently, we had a homecoming of our own at My Cup of Tea. We welcomed back Diane to our fold. (No one ever really leaves the fold, but Diane took a break from work at The House, and now she has returned to regular engagement.) We couldn’t be happier.

If you have followed us for a while, either through this blog or via social media, you may remember Diane. We have told Diane's inspiring story and been blessed by her faith and her talents.

Diane told us in an interview several years ago that she always wanted to be a nurse, but she married young and grappled with a drug addiction. After fighting through recovery with God’s help, she shares her story with other women facing similar challenges.

                “I’ve learned to blossom, embrace life, and trust in God,” she told us back then. “I used to never like to smile, and now I smile all the time.”

Diane’s role at My Cup of Tea is the same as when she left - interviewing applicants, teaching our soft skills curriculum, on-boarding new employees, and serving as a gentle, relatable, and empathetic counselor.

                “When they come in broken, I share that I’ve been broken too. Watching the ladies enter and remain a part is like planting flowers. Some are wilted, others are lifeless, but upon pruning, watering, and fertilizing, beauty is revived,” she said.

Just as when any of the ladies leave My Cup of Tea, Diane’s absence has been felt. Even if the reason for leaving is good news, we miss our sisters in the same way a parent misses an adult child who leaves for college or moves to a new city to start a life. You expect, or at least hope, to see them again, but the “loss” is still profound.

In Diane’s case, the reason for leaving wasn’t good news. She had not one, but two brothers who were seriously ill and needed her care. Reminiscent of Ruth in Scripture when Boaz says, “the whole town knows that you are a woman of strength and character,” (Ruth 3:11) no one was surprised that she would take leave to be caretaker for her brothers.

Diane joined My Cup of Tea in 2016, only 3 years after the tiny seeds of this garden were planted. We have a lot of history with Diane. Like any respectable homecoming, we celebrate with reflection and gratitude on all of that history, on the good she is bringing to our lives today, and on all we can accomplish with her and through her in the future.

Welcome home, Diane.

‘The main reason I stay at My Cup of Tea is because I love the sisterhood – encouraging one another, helping one another. I can’t think of a better place than My Cup of Tea to do that.”

                                                                                                             -Diane

In 1977, a Stanford University psychologist studying group dynamics, Albert Bandura, found that groups whose members were confident in the group’s abilities or likelihood of success were in fact more successful.

Duh.

This sounds a lot like what we have all been told by parents, teachers, coaches, and influential adults. “Have some self-confidence and you’ll do great,” or something to that effect. But there is more to it.

Bandura named this observation “collective efficacy.” Collective Efficacy Theory has since been applied across numerous disciplines including education, corporations, and criminal justice.

In a landmark study in 1997 led by Robert Sampson, a Harvard professor and past president of the American Society of Criminology, Sampson studied the impact of collective efficacy on reducing crime. What he found is that neighborhoods with a high crime rate and a low level of cooperation with law enforcement had little to no collective efficacy. Said a different way, neighbors did not believe that working together they could make a difference in their communities. But why?

For collective efficacy to form there must be social cohesion. Social cohesion involves having shared values and norms, social and institutional trust, a sense of belonging, cooperation, and equality and inclusion. When these pillars exist in a group, a business, or a neighborhood, they produce confidence among the group members that together the group can be impactful.

This is what we believe we have accomplished at My Cup of Tea, though the work must be ongoing and nurtured. Perhaps more importantly, collective efficacy is what we desire for Orange Mound, and the community is ripe to achieve it.

Factors that promote social cohesion

There are some basic elements of social cohesion that Orange Mound currently possesses or had in the past that it is capable of realizing in the future. They are:

·         High level of home ownership – Orange Mound has a previous history of home ownership that has waned. Today, home ownership is less than 50%, but still higher than many zip codes in Memphis and there is a legacy to build on. Others believe this too, as evidenced by the new home construction happening.

·         A core of stable, long-term residents – Mary Mitchell, the matriarch of Orange Mound and keeper of its history comes to mind. Among the My Cup of Tea ladies, Cheryl was raised here, left, and moved back. Bretta wasn’t raised in Orange Mound but has lived here for decades. It is true that many exited when crime rose, but there are still deep roots.

·         The presence of extended families – Some have extended families still in the neighborhood, but more high-quality housing options can help nurture that dynamic.

·         Close friendships among neighbors – This is difficult in every community in this age of communicating digitally and avoiding direct contact with other humans. However, our Neighborhood Watch, plans for a farmers’ market, and the intentionality of nonprofits JUICE Orange Mound and Red Zone Ministries to build relationships block by block are critical pieces of the puzzle. Also, the rich history surrounding Melrose High School and the connection people feel to it is another leveraging point.

·         Good schools – The schools within the Orange Mound zip codes are graded D or F on the state’s report card. Primarily this means that the vast majority of students are not reading or doing math on their grade level. But, Arise to Read, volunteers from My Cup of Tea, and others for Second Presbyterian Church are tutoring at Hanley Elementary.

·         People who attend local centers of worship – There are churches in Orange Mound that have been long-time anchors like Beulah Baptist Church, Mt. Moriah Baptist, and Mt. Pisgah CME. It has been our experience that many of the parishioners of these churches live outside of the neighborhood and those churchgoers in the community attend church outside of the 38111 or 38114 zip codes. There is much more work to do.

·         The use of amenities such as parks, recreation centers, and libraries – The Orange Mound Community Center has long been a gathering place for residents, Red Zone Ministries is providing a gathering spot with various opportunities for youth 9-18. There was a time when Orange Mound had one of the best parks in the city complete with an impressive swimming pool.

There are both historic and tangible building blocks in Orange Mound to attain social cohesion again, but it will take time and effort. The good news is that community efficacy at some level is not dependent on achieving the maximum level possible of social cohesion. What does that mean?

The small group that gathers on our porch to plan and implement our Neighborhood Watch can help lower crime on our block. That’s a start. To substantially lower the crime rate across the entire neighborhood requires more “true believers” who will join the movement as homeownership increases, schools get a little better, and they make friends with a few neighbors.

It means a small group of “true believers,” like our family at My Cup of Tea, who have confidence in our abilities, trust in one another, and by the grace of God can make a difference.

Eight times in the Bible we are told to love our neighbor. It is one of the Bible's most repeated commands.  Jesus summarized all of the commandments telling us to love God and love our neighbor (Matthew 22:40) “On these two commands hangs the whole law and all the prophets.” 

 Sadly, it’s difficult to love our neighbors on our corner. Orange Mound neighborliness is sparse, scant, and in short supply.  There is a flow of short-term neighbors in residence among the four houses our property adjoins.  Most of the properties within our view at The House in Orange Mound are rundown, weathered, warty, and dingy. Whitewash has been applied over the mold and peeling paint beneath. There is no landscaping or shade. Our neighbors stick to themselves but welcome multiple visitors who come and go and park on the front yard. We have shared tea and cookies with some, acknowledging that they consider our hospitality suspect and never reciprocated. We don’t know our neighbors. Everyone sticks to their own affairs. It is very hard to love neighbors that don’t want to be known.

Single moms and grandmoms are our workforce at My Cup of Tea, and ten of them live in similar surroundings as I have described just a mile or two away from our corner. They don’t know their neighbors either.  Their unceasing sense of anxiety shaves away any sense of security due to someone renting at the exorbitant rates they pay.  Their roofs leak, their plumbing fails, their floors buckle and sag, their storm doors are cracked but double bolted, and boards replace the missing windowpanes.   

Meanwhile, just to the South of us, and within view, a new day is dawning. Seven new houses are under construction and are for sale. Four of them are the houses on the land we donated and have told you about many times. The other three are across the street and the work of private developers.

The ladies of Orange Mound are my beloved neighbors and in confession of that, my love for them is compelling me to give all I can in treasure, talent, and time to shoe them into the new houses underway. They are collectively and individually unconvinced. Borrowing from the blog posted here two weeks ago, they are inert. None of the ladies in her adult life has had a neighborhood where her children could safely play in the front yard. They’ve missed curtained windows without bars to be opened for a spring breeze. Most have forgone the rich aromas of dinner warmed in an oven that works. Functioning washers and dryers have been a rare luxury.  Growing flowers by the front door in a flower bed and sharing stories and laughter on a porch swing are in their distant memories when they were children in less troubling times.

Shelby County has between 100-200 neighborhoods depending on how you count them. Memphis has as many as forty-eight neighborhoods. Children and old people especially need neighbors. Loving your neighbor becomes symbiotic, for we all have needs, and we all have ways to meet the needs of others.  I chose to work in Orange Mound because I was confident Jesus was already at work within its boundaries. He has brought safety, encouragement, and fellowship to our friends who work at the tea company, and now He has brought new homes within view of our front porch. 

 I am sure knowing the companionship and trust among the ladies and the possibility of living in proximity to one another on this block could be the next step in obeying the command to love our neighbors.  We are committed to being stakeholders, and we are praying and willing in the adventure of establishing a community that will rival and revive the original Orange Mound of a century past. Loving our neighbor compels us to model without My Cup of Tea what we have done within our walls. The original residents of this historic neighborhood knew each other, worked together, and invested in each other with their time, talent, and treasure. I’ve heard the stories of those who grew up here recalling the many moms and dads who kept them in line as children, and who had cookies and lemonade for all in the kitchen after playtime. I have longed for this for them again. This will be a Shalom neighborhood again, and neighborly love will be the cement in the foundations of all of the new homes still to come.